### Armor Column: Maximum collateral damage

#### 18/10/11 || revenant

It’s about fucken time! Oh man have I waited for a new wave thrash band with a frontman with some pipes. I’m not just talkin’ about a guy who can sing here, I’m talking about a vocalist that can fucken scream so powerfully the hairs on the back of your ballsack stand up. Too many of these re-hash thrash bands have frontmen who grunt, growl, snarl, squawk, yell, pig squeal or shout, but rarely do they sing. It seems the falsetto scream is a lost art in thrash for the modern era, relegated back to that wussy cheesy melodic so-called “power” metal. It seems modern thrash has forgotten how bloody amazing a falsetto scream can sound backed by pounding thrash. Well not anymore.

Oh fucken yes can the frontman of Armor Column (note to Americans: correct spelling would be “armour”. Note the “U”. It fucken goes there, ask the English, they fucken invented the language) fucken scream. When this guy (Jeff Andrews be his name) gives it his full, it’s just fucken awe inspiring. I guess the most obvious comparison I need to make would be to Tim “Ripper” Owens here. Both men have great screams, but I like Andrews better when I compare this performance to those of Ripper on his recent records to two reasons:

1: Ripper gets fucking annoying fast. Maybe it’s the fact that everyone who uses Ripper puts about four hundred layers to his scream. I hate that shit. Armor Column avoided this trap and it makes the experience far more listenable.

2: Andrews isn’t just screams. Ripper is great but his voice on the lower registers just isn’t that interesting (which is probably why he screams so much). Not so with Andrews, who shows great control and can build from low to high register perfectly.

Now before I give the impression I have a complete man-crush on this guy, I do have one gripe. Occasionally he goes for a more hardcore yell approach. I don’t mind this, it’s just that it’s hard to understand the words when he does this. All through his singing and screaming passages he’s fine, get to the hardcore and all the words sound jumbled. Example: In the song “Armor Column” I actually thought the words were “no more colour” until I checked the song title. “No more colour” and “armour column” – say them aloud. Not exactly the same, are they?

I should probably write about something other than the vocals now. Oh, did I mention these guys play thrash? It could be lost in somewhere in the vocalist cock-sucking I’ve written above, but these guys play some damn catchy thrash. Generally this is medium to fast paced mosh material through the verses before switching to a more melodic chorus section. Admittedly not all Armor Column is A grade stuff, but all but one track on this disc has at least one or two moments where you’ll raise your horns to the speakers and yell out “hell fucken yes”.

Stand out tracks: “Warmonger”, “Dictator’s Whore” and “Maximum Collateral Damage” are the three which immediately jump to mind. These are all winners in my book. “Rattenkrieg” though, is really the only miss on this album. The band went for a slower, heavier vibe but didn’t pull it off, and the vocals are completely wrong for this.

I will admit there will be many metalheads out there who will have zero interest in this album. They’ll see the words “thrash” or “falsetto vocals” and lose interest immediately. I’m not writing this article for them. I’m writing for the old thrash fans out there. Put simply, Armor Column is a great little find. “Maximum Clitoral Damage” is one solid album with a great lead man and, in this reviewer’s opinion, look to be one of the better finds of the thrash revival movement. Recommended? You fucken bet.

- Information
- Released: 2011
- Label: Endless Brutality Of Men
- Website: Armor Column MySpace
- Band
- Jeff Andrews: vocals
- Ray Russell: guitars
- Noah Carpenter: guitars
- Tom Barber: bass
- John Grassburner: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Warmonger
- 02. With Blood And Vengeance
- 03. Armor Column
- 04. Where There’s A War, There’s A Way
- 05. Dictator’s Whore
- 06. Rattenkrieg
- 07. We Breath Extinction
- 08. Maximum Collateral Damage