### Mouga: The god and devil's schnapps

#### 21/04/10 || Altmer

Holy crap. It’s an art to suck, and in the name of all that is fail, these guys are painting their own Mona Lisa. You thought metalcore was bad? This is actually, congratulations, worse. This is making nu-metal meet emo. It’s like Funeral For A Friend meets Linkin Park. Ohhhhhhhhhhh boy. Only the vocalist sounds like a shitty version of that afro-dude from Coheed And Cambria. Also, there are some terrible “aggressive screamed vocals”. I think I want to fucken die at the very thought of this.

Wanna know the details? Emo high-pitched clean-fuck vocals that are so hideously crappy I’d rather listen to a bad King Diamond impersonation. Terrible nu-metal riffs ripped from Korn, Skindred and Disturbed. Nothing impressive otherwise. No interesting rhythm shit to speak of. And the “screams” can go fucking fuck themselves too. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you in the ass. This is so bad it will make any metal person vomit. Even people who regularly like things in this style (and even I on occasion will be caught enjoying softer rockish stuff) would do well to steer way, way clear of this.

The other problem is that even if you choose to play a trendy genre – you have to have songs. These guys don’t. There isn’t a single catchy chorus on here. Even if I want emo (and sometimes, that ain’t a bad idea, but only if we are talking proper emo), I wouldn’t put this on. This is just bad. This is like making your cat give your dog a blowjob. This is reeking, smelly vagina. This is your girlfriend turning out to have a dick. This is… this is not tolerable. I am literally lost for words because this is complete shit. Urgh? Urgh.

Apart from that, the cover art is lame, the album title is fucken NOT fantastic (but for fucks sake, where do people come up with these things?), and I have Death, Judas Priest and Darkthrone reviews to do. This fucken bunch of mongoloids can go hang themselves from the nearest tree, well-played bullshit or not, because this is crappy to the max. I am going to blast some “Secret Face” to erase the memory of this abomination.

(edit: these guys are from Poland? Guess there’s a reason to hate the country now, even with Behemoth and Vader in their ranks…)

- Information
- Released: 2010
- Label: Mystic Production
- Website: Mouga MySpace
- Band
- Konyu: vocals, guitar
- Dywan: bass
- Stephol: drums
- Bazant: guitars

- Tracklist
- 01. Placebo Silence
- 02. Spider. Clock. Motel.
- 03. Don’t Look Down
- 04. Who Killed The Phoenix
- 05. I Can Hold
- 06. Mescaline
- 07. Ten Miles Away
- 08. Veins
- 09. The Animal
- 10. Shackles and Feathers