### Albatross: Dinner is you

#### 06/12/10 || Butt-Beard

Holy shit. Fuck me with a spiked baseball bat and call me Sally. A fucken Mercyful Fate rip-off band from India. Anyway “Dinner Is You” is the debut release by Indian act Albatross. It is a 4 track EP released by Demonstealer Records, and like all label sent EPs it has a useless intro track. At least you can skip it.

Basically its a Mercyful Fate rip-off. The guys in the band surely have the musical ability to pull it off but the vocalist is where its at. Despite the comical value of his attempts at being King Diamond the guy can actually sing. Other than that, musically there’s a pretty meat and potatoes vibe to the whole thing. If you are a fan of old school thrash in the vein of (holy shit) Mercyful Fate then you’ll dig the instrumentation. The production is decent, and apparently the mastering was done by (holy shit) Andy LaRocque. You won’t find any mud on this recording, maybe if you drop it in some, but the instruments are all pretty audible and the vocals definitely mixed to jump out more than they already do.

The EP has a pretty cool story going on, much like (holy shit) King Diamond’s solo stuff. It’s basically about this dude called ‘The Master’ (holy shit, The fucken Master dude, I laughed so hard at this) who suffers from the Kuru disease. The Kuru disease basically like some kind of incurable laugh cancer or some shit and it is transferred through cannibalism. So this Master guy invites dudes over and eats them but is ultimately brought to justice for his cannibalistic crimes and sentenced to be eaten himself by cannibals living in the jungle. But not before he has killed the judge and served him for lunch to the unknowing people in the court room. Unfortunately for the person who delivers Master Blaster (Mad Max 2 FTW) to the cannibals, AssMaster is in cahoots with the cannibals and the poor dude ends up being eaten by The Master and the cannibals.

Holy shit. That shit sounds like a fucken bad Ruggerio Deodato movie, or some other Italian cannibal shit. As much as I despise those movies and Ivan Rasimov’s acting in all of them, I have to give these and the weed they must have been smoking credit. I could not come up with this shit.

Despite all the shit you can give these guys for the extremely heavy Mercyful Fate influence, Albatross’ debut EP is not bad. It’s not amazing but it is pretty fun.

- Information
- Released: 2010
- Label: Demonstealer Records
- Website: Albatross MySpace
- Band
- Biposhree Das: vocals
- Rajashri Bhattacharyya: guitar
- Jimmy Alexander: guitar
- Riju Dasgupta: bass
- Jay Thacker: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. The Great Plague of the 21st Century
- 02. The Dining Table
- 03. In The Court of Kuru
- 04. Among the Cannibals