### Children of Bodom: Are you dead yet?

#### 22/03/06 || Statik Majik

This fucker was already a part of the October 2005 edition of Audio Autopsy, but I think they need the exposure with a “real” review anyway. As if they wouldn’t have enough publicity already…

I have to admit that I know basically nothing about this band ( Note by The Lord: Yes, and it shows. ). Except that they’re from Finland and that the band-name is taken from the infamous and still unsolved lake Bodom-murders that took place 40 years ago. But a friend of mine has a fucking hard-on for this band and has played “Hate Crew Deathroll” to me more times than I care to remember so at least I’ve heard ‘em before. All that I remember of that cd though is that it was good enough to listen to while drinking. And it had a cool album cover.

Well, that’s not the case here. Musically this album is as good as I expected it to be, but the artwork is butt-ugly. Ok, butt-ugly isn’t the word I was looking for. It’s not ugly, it’s lame. Like mellan öl, which is a sorry excuse for a beer they sell at Swedish food stores ( Note by The Lord: Like your fucken Koff-bullshit is any better, you goddamned jew, you ). The Grim Reaper thing is already chewed to the bone, why not try something new for a change? ( Note by The Lord: Becoz it’s a fucken trademark for them, perhaps? That’s like telling Iron Maiden to change Eddie to a fucken box of photoshopped fishsticks. You silly, silly Frenchman, you. )

Anyways, enough of the artwork. I don’t know how much money was spent to record this album, but obviously more than needed for just the basic production. Which means that “Are you dead yet?” sounds good. Damn good even. Some could say even “polished”. I love that labels are finally putting some effort into metal bands as well. At least in Finland. More money usually equals more studio time. Unfortunate for some, money can’t buy talent. But fortunate for Children of Bodom, it isn’t needed.

These dudes can play way above average and enjoy showing it as well. Sometimes to an extent of minor irritation. “Are you dead yet?” is filled with catchy tunes and thanks to professional studiowork/production it sounds… yep, you guessed it: fucken good. And I have to admit that I dig the way Alexi sings. I mean yells. Or even growls. Whatever, the point being that it fits the music more than perfectly.

One question though: what’s with the fucking keyboard solos? It becomes pretty obvious that you’re talented musicians and whatnot, but pleeeeease, enough is enough. At least the massive amount of guitar solos found on this album are less irritating than the keyboards… Besides that, no real complaints on my behalf.

Ok, I have to admit that “Are you dead yet?” might be slightly overproduced and too technical for my taste. ( Note by The Lord: Didn’t you just say something about “no complaints”? ) It sounds just a bit too perfected. And happy. You see, I don’t hear even an ounce of Satan in there and that’s what metal is all about. Satan. You always need to have some Satan in there. Ask anybody. Except christians.

7 /10

- Information
- Released: 2005
- Label: Spinefarm
- Website: www.cobhc.com
- Band
- Alexi Laiho: vocals, guitar
- Roope Latvala: guitar
- Henkka T. Blacksmith: bass
- Janne Warman: keyboards
- Jaska Raatikainen: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Living dead beat
- 02. Are you dead yet?
- 03. If you want peace… Prepare for war
- 04. Punch me I bleed
- 05. In your face
- 06. Next in line
- 07. Bastards of Bodom
- 08. Trashed, lost and strungout
- 09. We’re not gonna fall