### Blood Tsunami: Grand feast for vultures

#### 07/09/10 || InquisitorGeneralis

My senior year in college we had a party to celebrate my birthday. Daemonomania was there. It was awesome. Anywho, near the end of the night I found myself conducting a vomiting symphony in the row of trash cans outside my apartment complex when a girl from the party came walking by. She was cute and we had chatted it up a bit during the endless rounds of flip-cup and beer pong that had been occurring inside. She was going home because her friends had left and I had disappeared. For some odd reason, she found me attractive. What happened next is one of the few times in my life I have actually achieved Pimp status. This all true, I swear. Every sanguine detail.

We started making out right then and there by the garbage. Remember what I was doing out there? Ha, it gets worse too sucker. Well, I told her that there was another girl in the party whom I had been chasing for a while, an Amazon-like giant from the volleyball team who had been teasing my moderately-sized cock for most of my senior year. I asked if she would wait until the v-ball player left, then we could get down and dirty. She agreed to my scheme and patiently waited while I drank more and more. Finally, the behemoth left. Me and the girl who had tasted my puke finally got down to business.

After some serious drunken ape sex, in the dark, I went to the little boy’s room to freshen up. When I clicked on the lights I was horrified to see that if looked like someone had smashed a ripe tomato into my crotch. I screamed in horror and ran back into the room; frantically asking the young lass is she was hurt! My drunken mind was too fucked up to register that it was that time of the month. She told me she didn’t say anything about being on the rag ‘cause she really wanted to bang me (a truly rare occasion I assure you) and was afraid I would say “no”. Little did she know that “no” is word that is completely alien to my thought making process. When I settled down I realized that the ketchup was everywhere. It was like a hamster had exploded in my room. There was blood on the tracks.

This was the first time in my life I experienced a Blood Tsunami. My second one came from Norway.

When most people think of metal from Norway images of Lady Ghaal Ghaal sipping wine, burning churches, ritual suicides, and general black metal douchebaggery is what comes to mind. Thankfully, bands like Blood Red Throne, Zyklon, and now Blood Tsunami are around to show that the land of Kampfar has much more to offer than corpse paint and trve grvm shittiness. When Norwegians decide to ease up on the bad blasting, sing in actual rhythm with the song, and give their records a production that does not sound like it was recorded in a frozen forest they can pump out some serious awesome tunes. I have come to realize that sprinkling a little (and I mean just a little) black metal into other genres can produce quality results. Who better to do this then our frosty neighbors from the grvm north?

“Grand Feast for Vultures” is much more of a death album than thrash. I would contribute this to the influence of Jack the Ripper…err I mean “Faust” on drums. He may be a convicted murderer but the fucker can play drums and he absolutely dominates on “Feast for the vultures”. His footwork alone on “Personal exorcism” is insane. It is definitely the best song even though it is the slowest paced (still fucking brutal though) on the record and goes to big-time breakdown city in the middle. Think Morbid Angel with a more speed and harsher vocals. When Blood Tsunami slow it down a bit, they fucken rule. The production is ace and even the screechy, black metal vocals are digestible. The guitars are heavy and the drum sound is killer also.

The first two songs, the title track, and the dominating “Laid to waste” are all straight-up thrashers and will please you speed addicts out there. “Horsehead nebula” and “One step closer to the grave” end the album on an interesting note. Both clock in at over ten minutes in length. The latter stands out because it gets a bit bluesy and feature some interesting sections and time changes. Overall, there is no lack of quality and consistency on “Grand Feast for Vultures.” It features insane drumming, good guitar riffs and solos, and interesting and varied song structures and styles. Blood Tsunami is definitely not a retro-thrash band in the style of Violator, Municipal Waste, or Warbringer. They are a jacked up black, death, and thrash metal assault that will definitely appeal to fans of Behemoth, Zyklon, Black Breath, early The Haunted, Yyrkoon, and Carnal Forge. Go pick this one up fuckos, I highly recommend it.

Oh, one more thing about my bloody valentine from back in college: she left her red mark on my sheets…generously. My roomies bet me that I would not leave the sheets on and sleep in them again. See, I am kind of like Marty McFly from Back to the Future. Don’t call me yellow or challenge my manhood. I stepped up to the plate and kept the sheets on…

For three more months.

- Information
- Released: 2009
- Label: Candlelight
- Website: Blood Tsunami MySpace
- Band
- Peter “Pete” Michael Kolstad Vegem: vocals, guitar
- Kristoffer “Dor” Sørensen: guitar
- Pete “Bosse” Boström: bass
- Bård “Faust” G. Eithun: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Castle Of Skulls
- 02. Nothing But Contempt
- 03. Personal Exorcism
- 04. Laid To Waste
- 05. Grand Feast For Vultures
- 06. Horsehead Nebula
- 07. One Step Closer To The Grave