### Mirrorthrone: Carriers of dust

#### 12/04/10 || Altmer

Imagine the sound of an organ resonating in a darkened cathedral. Then imagine some (not so) creepy dude with a long black coat, neck standing up, an evil goatee, and a pointed nose. If this sounds too Disney for you, it’s because it probably is. But that is the kind of imagery this stuff invokes. It’s black metal, but of the symphonic, melodic kind (i.e. when the drum machine blasts away, there are keyboards layered over it. Instead of nothing, that is…). It’s all made by one dude somewhere in Switzerland. He probably hates everyone because he called his first song “A Scream to Express the Hate of a Race”. As he posted a disclaimer saying he wasn’t a Nazi (many people probably thought that), he is quite possibly just a clear misanthrope. Like the rest of us. And the motherfucker is called Vladimir. That is probably the most black metal name ever (it invokes Dracula, doesn’t it?).

Bad horror stories aside, this album is pretty good. It’s actually melodic and symphonic, ensuring that the metal found on this album does not degenerate into pure noise. It gets a bit cheesy at times with all the keyboard overload, but that’s nothing a quick session with Grave afterward can’t remedy. The only real fucken problem with this album is that there are only four songs. And three of them are in French. Uh-oh, pretto plane incoming!

This is a warning from your captain. Our Pretentious Asslines aircraft is about to make an emergency landing. We recommend you put on your safety belts as we slowly return to a state more down to Earth.

Emergency Data Report

Vocals: Standard death metal growl. Occasional switches to high-pitched scream. Can’t understand anything this motherfucker is saying. Sometimes decent clean vocals and spoken word parts show up, probably for the sake of it. We are not extremely pleased, but serviceable, it is. Follow the recommended vocalist safety procedure and limit your exposure.

Guitars: They are fast and they exist. The riffs are all the standard tremolo stuff. It is not special. There are very little wanky solos. The melodies are slightly toxic. Overdoses cause untrueness, cheese formation, and slight homoerotic tendencies.

Bass: No safety hazard involved.

Drums: WARNING! WARNING! PLEASE SLOW DOWN THE DEVICE IMMEDIATELY! PROLONGED USE WILL CAUSE THE MACHINE TO OVERHEAT! WARNING! WARNING!

Keyboards: Frankenstein has returned to grace us, and he’s brought his little brother along to play the keys. Unfortunately he’s not in a very good mood. Approach the keys with caution. This instrument can only be handled with experienced users acquainted with the possible risks. If possible, consult an expert close by to understand the psychological nature of the beast.

END OF EMERGENCY DATA REPORT. PLEASE FOLLOW ALL THE RECOMMENDED PROCEDURES TO LEAD YOURSELF TO SAFETY. ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED SAVING YOURSELF MAY YOU ATTEND TO CLOSE FAMILY MEMBERS. REPEAT: END OF THE EMERGENCY DATA REPORT!

There, that’s better, isn’t it, having the pretto all out of our system? Even if you are the most mundane person, you’ll realise that even with the weird song titles and 20+ minute songs, the guy writes some really atmospheric and cool black metal. It’s accessible enough and well-produced enough (apart from the drum machine, those always sound crap) to not make you want to turn it off, it’s symphonic enough to sound actually interesting, and it’s pretentious enough to appeal to all the metalheads that aren’t Meat ‘n’ Potatoes-style lovers. Don’t pick it up if you swear by Mayhem or Darkthrone, as it sounds more in the vein of, say, Emperor if they got themselves a good production, but everyone else should at least give this a cursory spin to see if they like it. You’ll probably dig most of it anyhow. You should. It’s pretty decent black metal.

- Information
- Released: 2006
- Label: Red Throne Inc.
- Website: www.mirrorthrone.com
- Band
- Vladimir Cochet: everything

- Tracklist
- 01. A scream to express the hate of a race
- 02. Mortphose
- 03. De l‘échec et son essentialité [point 1. marginalité démystifiée]
- 04. Ils brandiront leurs idoles