### Droids Attack: Fatal/Error

#### 20/10/10 || Daemonomania

In the up-front section of this review I shall be up front. Not much of a stoner metal aficionado. Not that there is no appeal to the subgenre whatsoever, but it just never gets my nuts a’tingle. So when reading ze comments on another selection from IG’s endless box ov radio promo discs, please proceed to do the following depending on which description fits you best:

You have an Orange Goblin tattoo on your ‘taint: Take the score below and add 2.5 points.

You absolutely despise mari-j-huana and think those who smoke it should be liquidated: First die in your Puritan hell, then subtract 2.5 points.

You dislike anything funny in your metal: Chances are you have some feelings akin to the previous character, so do the same shit.

You are open to all types of metal, bring it on homey!: Listen to some Iron Fire then get back to me about that openness. But yeah, keep the score below about the same.

Don’t fit comfortably into any of the above? Then you are magnificently unique and should ride on the wings of the unicorn into a realm of delight inhabited solely by YOU. In other words, fuck off.

Have I described Droids Attack From the Back Like Dyslexia at all? Keep stalling… they have a good album cover going for ‘em. Looks like Lt. Commander Data got ahold of the bad acid again. They also have a song about the honorable Steven Seagal and discuss him being “above the law” in the chorus. Kudos bars! Take note of the spacey 12 minute opener “The Lord” as well – are they singing about a man who warbles along to VanessKornEscence whilst making the grimmest of facial expressions? Doubtful.

Alright, at last, down to the tunes. This sounds like crunchy, upbeat slugdy stuff for those who pack their bongs full and grow their beards long. The production, mastered by a dude from Nine Inch Nails (?) is quite muffled and adds to the trueness of the DA experience – if trueness matters in stoner circles.

Required Band Duties Section:

The dude sings like a crossbreeding experiment between the strained yelling guy from Neurosis and the doofus from The Mighty Bosstones. I’m unimpressed, though he has his moments. Same goes for Mr. Van’s guitarery. Correct me if I’m wrong but stoner metal lives and dies based on DAS RIFFS. Van Gogh brings ‘em in all their groovy glory, but there’s not enough variety to keep me hooked. “Malachi crunch” is a fine example of a song that wears out before it’s over. The drummer also kicks a good amount of ass which is required in this type of music. Brungraber has been nominated “America’s Next TopDroid”. Don’t hear much of Nate Bush’s bushy basswork.

Section Complete.

That’s that. I’ve attacked the android enough. “Fatal/Error” is not something I will boot out of my collection, but I get the feeling there’s other stoner bands more deserving of my attention than these cheeseheads. Unless, of course, they write a song about Lord K battling (modern-day, fat) Steven Seagal to the death. At that point I’ll get a tatt of a bloody robot on my grundle.

- Information
- Released: 2006
- Label: Crustacean
- Website: Droids Attack MySpace
- Band
- Brad Van: vocals, guitars
- Nate Bush: bass
- Tony Brungraber: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. The Lord
- 02. Steven Seagal
- 03. Malachi Crunch
- 04. Long Time Coming
- 05. Dope Smuggler
- 06. Blood of the Earth
- 07. The John Oates Mustache Ride
- 08. Scythe in the Fire