### Dead Man's Hand: The combination

#### 16/03/09 || Kampfar

Dead Man’s Hand is not a good moniker, neither would Comatose Dude’s Penis be, nor Braindead Woman’s Clit. Not very funny, haha, but I’m after all a reviewer and not a comedian. Anywayz, I fail to understand what’s so damn special about this hand belonging to a dead guy, and I’m curios because it was obviously special enough to have a band named after it. Is it it a left or a right one? How much wanking mileage are we talking? Did it penetrate many cunts? Dear readers, I suspect a grim word-randomizer has been in effect here, a beta version.

Shit intro and moniker aside, now is namely the time for me to explain why this lot from Oslo won’t snort cocaine with the best of them just yet. And bore you to tears in the process.

It’s a thrash band this, one blending in a bit of death, but still pretty much a thrash band. I don’t know about you, cancercunt, but this twat full of smegma sure has a problem with said genre. And my problem is that many of its bands come across as one-dimensional, one-trick-ponies. I fucking love (female) ponies, you all know that, but I wouldn’t do so if they only allowed me to fuck them in the vagina, one position, say doggy, all year round. Skindead Transvestite’s Toenail is a bit better than that, for as I’ve just mentioned, they do throw some death into the mix.

And when death is present I close to downright enjoy what I’m hearing, unfortunately, however, this doesn’t take place nearly as often as rape and murder do occur in South Africa. Most of the time, you see, they are stressing forwards in a energetic thrash manner, utterly forgetting all about making their songs memorable. What a shame. It’s not that I hate what I hear – much closer to downright like, in fact – but when I find myself, circa halfway through, asking myself if I didn’t just heard this song twice already, I for obvious reasons detract points.

And I’m not to sure I like the mix very much either, it’s far from shit, but it feels a bit cramped, which makes it OK but not very impressive. The vocals, on the other hand, is all fine, for I have nothing against an aggressive snarl. Fuck you all, I’m doing the summary already.

Not bad at all this, it just lacks that special something.

6 out of 10.

- Information
- Released: 2009
- Label: Agonia Records
- Website: www.dmh-metal.com
- Band
- Dag Carlsen: vocals
- Martin Kandola: guitar
- Jon Carlsen: guitar
- Stig Sætevik: bass
- Jostein Køhn: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Capaci bomb
- 02. Bodu in the barrel
- 03. Hostile respect
- 04. The last stand
- 05. Bloodstained hands (dead ones?)
- 06. Castigate
- 07. Guillotine
- 08. Taste the metal
- 09. Knuckledusted
- 10. The combination