### New Keepers Of The Water Towers: Chronicles

#### 28/08/09 || GardensTale

Stoner is one of my favorite genres when it comes to metal. It’s often catchy, it’s very back-to-basics, it has the best fucking riffs, it has the most badass attitude, and it sounds the most ‘true’, so to speak. I mean, as much as I love other kinds of metal, for instance death metal is nearly always: “Huaargh, I am so angry!” Which really can get kind of silly after prolonged exposure. Stoner metal doesn’t really have issues like that.

So, after this little intro, what does this particular stoner release have to offer? Well… competence on nearly every level, excellence on nearly none. New Keepers of the Water Towers (this has to qualify for a ‘ridiculous band title’ grand championship) have the musical basis down to the spot: quality riffing, driving drums, some nice acoustic spots, audible and pretty badass bass, decent songwriting, it all sounds pretty good but it’s all pretty forgettable as well. Nowadays you need a –lot– of balls to really stand out in any particular genre, and there’s some missing for the Keepers. Yet, you can’t really give this a really low score because while it’s playing, it’s a lot of fun to listen to.

Unfortunately, there’s only one notable plus against several minuses. Bad news first is the rule, so let’s start with the element I did not mention in the previous section; the vocals. Now, mind you, they’re not bad per se; it just sounds more akin to Robert Flynn (Machine Head) than to JB (Spiritual Beggars, Grand Magus), and it sort of takes away from the sound. It makes the aim of the music a little unclear. It’s not a big issue though, and the vocals can be enjoyed on their own terms. A slightly bigger irk is the production. It doesn’t have enough punch for me. The vocals are quite high in the mix and the guitars and drums are a bit muddy, the second half of the album especially. Which brings me straight to the third and by far biggest issue; this is not one album. It’s the two EP’s the band put out previously and mashed them together and called it an album. Now, guys, that shit just doesn’t fly. When you take two books and mash them into one, it’s still two books in one cover, not one album. They don’t belong together unless they’re tightly interwoven.

Which is not the case here. The production on the second half was never even redone and is really quite muddy, taking away a lot from the music. It’s also more experimental than the first half, so it doesn’t fit each other’s production, lyrics, or music. Worse yet, it makes the whole thing way too long and tedious to listen to in one go. The whole thing is little over an hour and it’s just not interesting enough to last that long. Each EP on its own would’ve been much more effective.

The one plus I can put against this are the very strange and evocative lyrics which can often measure up to Sleepytime Gorilla Museum’s work, or Clutch for that matter. Here’s a little example:

As an offspring of the scientists, he cruises the plains cursing its makers, schizophrenic to the max, the good the, the evil, the wise, the fool The three-headed cow, producing compelling statistics, the three-headed cow into things that not relate

Maybe it’s just me, but I dig weird shit like that.

Now guys, Keepers, do me this favor. Get a good producer and write a tight and bizarre concept album. I think you can earn at least two marks higher than the score below, you’ve got that in you. I just haven’t heard it on this disc.

- Information
- Released: 2009
- Label: MeteorCity
- Website: NKOTWT MySpace
- Band
- Rasmus Booberg: vocals, guitars
- Victor Berg: guitars, vocals
- Albin Rönnblad Ericsson: bass
- Tor Sjödén: drums, vocals

- Tracklist
- 01. Awrecktion
- 02. Mastercklaw
- 03. Pursuit of yeti
- 04. Scientists and the man of ice
- 05. Rise of the lizard king
- 06. Flight of the reptilians
- 07. New sleepers
- 08. Enter the great forest
- 09. Giant subway beast
- 10. The strafing lobster
- 11. The three headed cow
- 12. The knowledgeable kangaroo
- 13. The monument
- 14. Fall of the massive boar Pt. 1
- 15. Fall of the massive boar Pt. 2