### S.C.A.L.P.: Tears and blood

#### 22/03/10 || Daemonomania

To confirm: listening to the Danzig ballad “Blood and tears” eight times in a row is more rewarding than listening to “Tears and blood” in its entirety. Now that we’ve answered that question, let’s take a look at the hardworking Russians in “Sense’s Calming At dead’s Lament Places”. Hmmm, aren’t acronyms supposed to incorporate every major word involved? Like you can ignore the of and still have U(nited) S(tates) (of) A(merica). But “Forged Against the disgusting Rising Tide of Kingly Naked chimp Orgies Coerced with the help of Korn and Enya’s shitty Recordings” does not FARTKNOCKER make.

Bad name and album title successfully insulted. Now the music. If you’re a fan of the Anathema school of death/doom, this might be right up your alley. Personally I find overly melodic upbeat dooming with fake English Count (Lord Ravenshillock, is that you?) cleans and weak growls pretty fucken terrible. This subgenre needs to drip with menace, pain, and intestinal mucus to get my ballhair frizzy. That being said, if it weren’t for the vocals the S.C.A.L.P.ers would have a pretty ok album to enjoy while making bathtub vodka.

It certainly is rude to insult Evgeny Rizhenock, vocalist/bassist, simply because he is most certainly dead. From what I read on Metal Archives, “Tears and blood” was actually finished in 1999 but wasn’t released until 2004. During which time the Ev-man bought it. Rough trade indeed. But Mr. Rizhenock’s singing is still inexcusable – his wailing sounds like he’s miserably losing a Morrissey karaoke contest ¾ of the time and like someone poured pure liquid gay into L.G. Petrov’s breakfast cereal the other ¼.

So no matter how hard the band tries, success remains just a shut mouth away. And try they do. There are some sweet riffs to be found on “Tears for fears”, especially in the song “Broken pines”. Drumwork is passable, bass makes the occasional appearance, but the guitars are the only thing that attracts listener attention. Like a chick with a half-decent face, mild muffin top, lumpy oatmeal ass, but a fantastic set of sweatermeat sistas. Look away, look, look away. Props to the lonely guitarist for doing his best in the face of mediocrity.

To conclude, while no element aside from the vocals is excessively crummy on “Piers and C.H.U.D.”, no single element is utterly life-changing either. When I want to hear the softer side of death/doom I’ll listen to Celestial Season’s “Solar lovers”. At least they have some stoner influence and violin. The Commies in S.C.A.L.P. have none of the above, so a weak rating followed by an instant trade awaits this disc. Better luck next time (there won’t be a next time).

Oh yeah, and the song “Removal” is about turning into a cloud. No joke. I guess that’s one way to avoid workin’ on the ole kolkhozy.

- Information
- Released: 2004
- Label: Metalism
- Website: www.scalp.nm.ru
- Band
- Evgeny Rizhenock: vocals, bass
- Alexey Orekhov: keyboards(?)
- Aleksandr Gretsev: guitars
- Alexey Kuznetsov: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Out Of Madness
- 02. A Heart Was Beating
- 03. A Heart Was Beating (Part II)
- 04. Broken Pines (swap the i and the e in the second word for a good time)
- 05. Tears And Blood
- 06. Tears And Blood (Part II)
- 07. Removal
- 08. Who Dared To Say