### Kamelot: Poetry for the poisoned

#### 06/10/10 || Altmer

This band is on a steep decline. Some would argue they never went up in the first place (it is power metal, after all), but I digress. They did once mount ye olden prodigious heights, on two albums about Faust, namely “Epica” and “The Black Halo”. Everything else they’ve ever released has been subpar, and 2007’s “Ghost Opera” was a remarkable step down or two from their zenith. Come 2010, a lot of touring, the departure of their bassist, and what has changed in the land of power metal fairies?

Nothing. The band continue their trend downwards into the misty depths of suckdom, aiming exactly for the spot where we can paint them into a corner and jeer at how far they have fallen. You remember how Ghost Opera would have a few strong tracks, with catchy choruses and semi-heavy half-riffs that would get your head banging anyway? This album has one song like that. The rest is all, pure, unadulterated shit or excessively boring.

You know how the band used to be able to write über-saccharine catchy ballads? None of that can be found on here. “House on a hill” is just shit. Some of the guest vocals are excruciatingly annoying, like Jon Oliva, the fucking fatty. His glory days in Savatage are long over and he’s no better here. Let the man fucken rot in peace. Strid provides growls to the only good song on the album, “The Great Pandemonium”, but his hackneyed repetition of “JUST OOOONEEEEE” doesn’t really add much of anything to the song. And Simone Simons, bless her Dutch boobs, sings her heart out on this album – but none of it will entice you into listening to this album, because this is not Epica and therefore you can’t find Simone half nekkid on the cover.

You know how this band used to be able to write songs? “March of Mephisto”? “Center of the Universe”? None of that shit. Dullness reigns, boring arrangements triumph, a faux-dark atmosphere is thrown over it all to appeal to goth kids a year older than the previous fanbase, and… nothing of note is present as actual content. The band are excellent at their instruments of course, and Khan is a fine singer, but they aren’t doing anything with it. There is no coherence, no unifying theme, no nothing and it all falls apart like loose sand.

Even some of the blatant Dream Theater rips (“Thespian Drama”, anyone?) can’t save this album from mediocrity. I hoped this band could recover after the lapse that was Ghost Opera, but they managed to fuck this one up royally. The “Panic Attack/Never Enough” keyboards that pervade “If Tomorrow Came” sound like they’ve been copied from those songs almost note for note. Some of the more mellow moments feature less guitars, but in an awkward jarring way. The songs don’t make sense as compositions. Even songs with cool titles like “Necropolis” feature a zzzz-slow tempo befitting of My Dying Bride, but not Kamelot. It reminds me of that intro to Nightwish’s “Sahara” or “7 Days to the Wolves”: a bastard tune somewhere between slow and midtempo. Didn’t Jack Black teach you fucks to rock out with your cock out? What is with this tripe? Did you forget how to speed up songs to appropriate tempo?

Kamelot are really on a steep slope downwards with no end in sight. There is nothing that would make you want to put on this album again, even if some of the songs sound superficially cool. It’s mediocre power metal with a good singer, and that makes them lose their edge. Thanks guys, for absolutely pissing on your legacy as a good band while you’re at it. Thanks. Fuck you.

Recommendation: Your own album “The Black Halo” on repeat, to remind you of the inspiration that created that amazing record. That’s how you should’ve done it, bitch.

- Information
- Released: 2010
- Label: Edel Music
- Website: www.kamelot.com
- Band
- Roy Khan: vocals
- Thomas Youngblood: guitars
- Sean Tibbetts: bass
- Oliver Palotai: keyboards
- Casey Grillo: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. The Great Pandemonium
- 02. If Tomorrow Came
- 03. Dear Editor
- 04. The Zodiac
- 05. Hunter’s Season
- 06. House on a Hill
- 07. Necropolis
- 08. My Train of Thoughts
- 09. Seal of Woven Years
- 10. Pt. I Incubus
- 11. Pt. II So Long
- 12. Pt III All is Over
- 13. Pt. IV Dissection
- 14. Once Upon A Time
- 15. Thespian Drama