### Total Devastation - Jaakko Heinonen

#### 06/06/08 || Kampfar

Hello and welcome, but only if you hate peace. Peace is gay. I vote for total devastation.

Global Domination: Hails to you, Mr. Pikka, at least it was you who answered my request for an interview. Very much thanks for doing so. Some are too important to answer a simple request, you know. Not even bothering to ship over an electronic: no, go fuck yourself Kampfar douche. So, do you hate self-important pricks?

Jaakko Heinonen: Yes, I do hate self-important pricks from the bottom of my heart. And yes, the big man Lauri Pikka did indeed answer you but I, Jaakko Heinonen of the great republic of Total Devastation, am having the great pleasure of doing this interview.

I hate ‘em too, but I love your latest, namely “Honor the disorder”; it doubtlessly being TD’s heaviest to date. Was the intention from the very get going to create the heaviest album of your careers, or did it just turn out that way? Safe to say you didn’t forget to create actual songs while at it.

Yes, there’s no denying the fact that we wanted to make some really heavy sounding stuff. It just came very naturally to go along that path. In my opinion death metal and the whole metal scene has lost something and most of the bands don’t really sound heavy anymore. We wanted to do something more raw this time.

How long did it take to tune in that excellent, and I repeat, excellent buzz used on “HTD”? It anyhow makes you “sound” like fucking Entombed on steroids, with a twist. Kudos, truckloads of it, and most so because – even though they sure have inspired you, along with old-school Swedish death metal in general – you do not sound like Entombed, or Dismember for that matter. You sound Swinnish, yep you do.

We’re sounding Swinnish, are we? I think that is very well put. It’s been a long journey experimenting with different sounds, styles and equipment. We just grew up with that kind of soundscape like Entombed and the other Swedes had, and we loved it. And these days everything sounds so clean, so I cherish the fact that the boys have been able to make us sound this good.

Oh, if not already mentioned, please tell who produced this here heavy, mean and layered chunk of death. He/she/it deserves the mention, you know. If mentioned, delete this question.

There really wasn’t anyone producing the album, we mainly did everything ourselves. There was ofcourse some consulting done with highly rated friends of ours. They kept us going on the right path. Our Minister of Defence, Janne Markkanen, played a very strong role in this chapter of making the album.

Apart from my erection, how has the response to “HTD” been?

Well, some critics have really taken into it, but some keep saying that it may sound even too raw and heavy with not enough breathing space, you know. And also with customers that I’ve spoken too, some have loved the more old school approach of the album and others would’ve wanted to hear more of the old Total Devastation “trademark” sound.

I claim “Oblivion” to be the least good song on “HTD”, do you agree? It is in fact the only song I don’t thoroughly enjoy on your latest baby.

Well, I personally really like the song. I think most of the band share your view on the song though. But I see it as a really heavy song, and partly why I think I like the song is the fact that it was one of the last songs completed for the album, so it sounds a bit more fresh to me than the others..

Would you care to give us some insight in how Total Devastation creates a song? Any specific process or do they come to life differently?

Mostly someone comes up with few riffs and ideas and we start working on it. Then there are some demos made at home with the help of computer and stuff. Then we go on and start training it, creating and fitting the lyrics into the song. So, nothing spectacular or magical on that part.

Name one other death metal band with four or more members who have had a stable line-up for 10 years or so, or, also like you, since their very first full-length. I was thinking Bolt-Thrower, but they have changed around drummers and vocalists, so they are out as fuck. They still rule, though. Anyway, how come you guys stick together like superglue?

Yeah, I’ve been thinking the same question and really don’t know the answer. We just enjoy each other’s company and I think that the brotherhood of Pikkas and Hakulis doesn’t do any harm either. To come to think of it, I think with one of us leaving the band, it would end TD as it is known now. It has started to remind me of some old fashioned well functioning family relations. We’re blood these days.

Please do tell us about any upcoming tour or festival you are doing. While at it, what would be the ultimate touring partners of TD be?

There are some small scale gigs and one festival coming up in the summer. We are not the most “hot” thing on the market at the moment, with the more commercial metal dominating the markets these days… and saying that, no, I am not bitter. It would still be nice to be able to play more good gigs though. We’ve had a pleasure of playing with the great Entombed, and them being probably the best band ever, I would have to say Entombed. I think that a world tour with Mastodon wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

I noticed you are no longer to be found on Firebox Records. Do you hate that label now? I also see your new label is named Playground Music, sounds like a label releasing music for kids, not a metal label. No offense. Are they a metal label?

Yes, we have been thinking about burning down the Firebox Headquarters.. No, we left them on a best of terms, with them and us both realizing it was time for us to go separate ways. They probably weren’t the best label for us or we the best band for their expertise. Playground just handles our distribution and that sort of stuff, we are currently on a growing independent label, Stabbing Records.

Apart from “HTD”, which TD album do you hold dearest? I guess it won’t be “Roadmap of pain”, as your homepage told me you guys weren’t entirely pleased with how that fucker turned out. How come, too slick? Is there a TD song you wish you hadn’t made?

For me, the new album is definitely the dearest. I think it tops the others by far, but ofcourse every album has got its highs and lows. Still, I don’t regret any album or song. Some of the stuff we’ve made, though, makes me wonder what have we’ve been thinking, have we been on some bad drugs or something…?

Hell, name the 5 most important OSSDM albums. My list includes “Unorthodox”, Edge Of Sanity’s finest moment right there. Does yours?

For me, no, but for Harri it might. Mine would definitely include the greatest albums ever made, Entombed’s “Left Hand Path”, “Clandestine” and “Wolverine Blues”, if you count that as old school enough. Also Dismembers “Like an Ever Flowing Stream” and “Indecent and Obscene” are worth mentioning.

Have Total Devastation ever been at the front of magazines such as Kerrang!, Metal Hammer, Terrorizer, and so on? I’m very surprised if.

No, we have definitely not been on the cover of those magazines. We might have been mentioned on the cover with the smallest possible font, but that’s about it.

What is the best driving song you can think of, anyone in particular inspiring you to flat the pedal? If not a driver, and even if, I’d like to know if there is a specific song that utterly sets you in the mood for some facebreaking. Heard the band Facebreaker?

No, I do not know the band, but for driving like a maniac I like to use something like Fu Manchu’s “The Action Is Go” album. There’s nothing like driving too fast, while the sun is shining and the greatest fast stoner albums are breaking your ears. But for more facebreaking stuff I like to get my self hyped up before going street fighting with listening some good old d-beat by Disfear.

How much attention do you pay metal nowadays? Is it still your main form of sonic treatment? Was it ever?

Well, I have lost some connection to metal scene these days. I think most of the stuff sounds boring and too well-calculated to make it big time in the business, you know. But now and again I might find something new and different kind of stuff. Like Mastodon, that was a real blessing, because there really was nothing like that happening at that moment. And I have always been interested in all sorts of music, not just metal. And the trend just keeps going on. I like anything that sounds “real” and has a heart and soul in it the way that you can really hear it. Be it hip-hop, punk, stoner or some electronic stuff.

Are you guys depressed alcoholics? I guess you aren’t, but I’d like to know which one of you is able to drink the most before passing out and piss his pants.

I consider myself as a bit of a drinker. I think I have the ability to drink the others “under the table”, so to speak. Also Lauri can hold his drink quite well, he turns into a real animal, but it’s rare that he passes out or goes to bed before anyone else. Maybe we should have a drinking duel with Lauri to determine who’s the king of our Lord: alcohol. And no we’re not depressed alcoholics, mostly we’re very happy alcoholics.

On the top of your head, name the single worst song in the world. Mine was Fine Young Cannibals, and their horrendous, “She drives me crazy”. Fuck, Haddaway just called.

You might know the legendary Swede called Basshunter with his huge hit song “Boten Anna”. That really has all the qualities of being the most irritating song of all times.

This idea I have stolen from a former staffer “named” Fishermane, and I thank him for the tip/inspiration. I salute thee. Anyways, make a sentence using these names: Kerry King, Lars Ülrich, Dave Mustaine, Matti Nykänen and Bob Marley…

Bob Marley invited his closest friends over to smoke the piece pipe and to solve all global problems, he passed it to Matti Nykänen, who always likes a good toke on the pipe and fly high once again, he offered it to Dave Mustaine and Lars Ülrich, but they were too busy doing coke of Kerry Kings magical beard.

Krhm… or something.

Most Norwegian, if not all, politicians would utterly suit a bullet (hole) in the head. Same in Finland?

Yes.

Have you ever been to Norway? If so, how broke where you when you left? I have not been to Finland as of yet, but it is one of the countries I would very much like to visit, and that without my tank being armed and dangerous. Should I visit at winter?

No, unfortunately I never had a chance to come there. Would very much like to, though. Well, nothing beats a good freezing cold sunny winter day by the sea. But then again, same in the middle of the summer, with a few beers. You should come and stay for a year and decide which season you like the best.

How many mosquitoes do you kill a year? Circa will do. Shit, wouldn’t it be awesome if we were allowed to kill off annoying people the same way we do likewise insects, quick, simple and without an afterthought? If so was the case, do you think I would be alive to make this interview?

This interview has been probably one of the best I ever done, so you’d be very much alive. Yeah, I think there should be made a similar number of harvesting people as I kill mosquitoes over a year. Mainly starting with some political figures.

Is it true that many Finns have a habit of wearing knives?

Yeah, up in the north they’re really into the whole stabbing thing, like a man called Puukko-Allu (translating to something like “Knife-Al”). They’re trying to make it big down south also.

If you had to choose between having your eyes punctured or your balls crushed, what would you chose?

I think I like my balls too much.. This is a hard one.

What is the closest you have been to death so far? Of course not forgetting you were dead aeons before being born. Anyway, here is my story. September last year, 2007 that is, I fell from a tree, from 3-4 meters up, straight on my head, missing a big stone by an inch or thereabout. So in addition to almost breaking my neck, my skull nearly got cracked open like one very messy coconut. I have learned to brag about jeopardizing my safety after watching Survivorman, familiar with the show?

Survivorman is something I do not know about. I haven’t really had a near death experience, except some quite dangerous driving from my self and some others. Would be cool to lie though, that I’ve battled a huge bear and escaped death by seconds, or being held gunpoint in Vietnam…

Rate these shows on a scale from 1-10

Bonanza: 7

Desperate Housewives: 3

Lost: 0

Emil I Lønneberget: 10?

The Wire: 7?

Karlsson På Taket: 10

Tom & Jerry: 5

MacGyver: 10

South Park: 7

The Simpsons: 7

What disease would you prefer your worst enemy to be infected/ridden with? Ebola is king in my book.

There’s nothing like a good old brain tumor! Mind you, I’ve yelled that out to some poor football referees..

I know the perfect way to end the world, but not this interview. Think ice and freezing winds regarding that ultimate end bullshit. Thanks and goodbye from Karmøy to Suomi.

Cheers and thanks from Karhula to the land of thousand herrings!