### Celtic Frost: To mega therion

#### 26/01/10 || Khlysty

##### Introduction

(Khlysty is alone in the middle of a not-so-cold winter night and mumbles to hisself) I was pretty sure that the fucker WAS there… OK, gechershittogether and check again… Nope, definitely NOT there… (scratches head) Whattafuck HAPPENED to it? I mean, fuck, if this shit ain’t in Class6(66), then everything’s gone to seed. If this ain’t considered a full-frontal classic, then what the fuck is? Christina Aguillera or what-the-fuck’s her name? Not that I don’t think that she’s some kind of classic, but, hey, she’s not Class6(66) fodder, this I can easily tell you. Celtic Frosty the Snowman and “To Mέγα Mall Θηρίον”, on the other hand, now that’s what I call a classic. Yep, lassies and germs, this is the shit and if you don’t know it, well, you can go back listening to whatever shit you’re polluting your ears with and fucking forget about metal in general and extreme metal in particular.

See, these Swiss-cheese eaters IS one of the real McCoys when it comes to modern metal. Their approach toward the genre is, well, how to put it? Ah, yes, completely idiosyncratic and personal, and within their sound –this shit was recorded in 1985- one can easily find in seminal or more fully-developed form some stylistic devices that would later help create whole subgenres in metaldom. Although Celtic Frost sounds basically like a pwetty weird thrash band, they use –intentionally? unknowingly?- some things and ideas that would later be developed into black metal and symphonic black metal, some strains of more approachable death metal and some other subgenres of extreme metal. And, while their first output (“Morbid Tales” and “Emperor’s Return”) gave some idea of what those crazy-ass Swiss were out to do, everything is fleshed out and proudly present in “Το Μέγα Θηρίον”. For a fuller disclosure of what happens in this record, please refer to the rest of the review, you lazy bastards…

##### Songwriting

9. Most people consider Celtic Frost –along with Venom and Bathory- as the forbearers of black metal. Weeeeeell, this is kind of true. See, while the band sounds as far removed from what’s come to be labeled as black metal today, it’s obvious that Tom Gabriel Fisher Warrior of The Barren Plains and his merry men use and abuse quite a few ideas that would later gel into the aforementioned genre. Taking their main inspiration from thrash metal, Celtic Frost add here and there elements that, at the time, might have been considered blasphemous towards the style: symphonic intros and codas, female operatic vocals, high-velocity drumming that borders on white-out, gruff vocals, breaks and time-signature changes of jarring nature, contra-beats, some hints of space, noise experiments, some “theatricality” here and there… All this stuff is used in this record: what matters, though, is how ingeniously everything is utilized to create a sense of almost creative madness. Nothing is overused OR underused and what really amazes me is how perfect every element of this madness I talked about a bit earlier is placed within the framework of the record. Nothing sounds out of place, which is a kind of a miracle, since the disparate elements and ideas peppered throughout the whole record normally should not work as good as they do. So, either raving it up to thrash metal fury, slowing it down to doomy thunder, or just fucking around, “Το Μέγα Θηρίον” literally screams creativity and craziness.

##### Production

8. This is exactly as it should be: loud, proud and as demented as it gets. The guitar has a nasty, snarling tone throughout the whole recording, the drums, if not exactly loud, have presence and bite and the bass can be heard, at least some of the time. But, where the production really shines is when the disparate elements (orchestral flourishes combined with the band in full throttle) come together, without the one drowning the other and without any of them losing bite, presence or clarity. So, good job here.

##### Guitars

8,5. As I mentioned before, the guitar tone is snarling and evil. Good ole Tom is a prime riff-beast, though, always coming up with new ideas and great little touches here and there. His soloing is chaotic and I won’t put it up there with the best of ‘em, but his riffing is imfuckingpeccable, creative and exceedingly vicious, given the time this bunch of songs was recorded. So, yeah, I likes good ole Tom…

##### Vocals

8,5. …And I likes him even more when he sings, or, rathers, snarls his way into this record. Tom doesn’t really try to sing here: he just spits the lyrics out with lotsa venom and bad intent. But, see, he’s pretty convincing and he has those loveable “ohs” and “uhs” that he trademarked way back when. OK, then, his vocals might be an acquired taste, but once you’re hooked to them, you’re hooked for life.

##### Bass

7. I can mostly feel it than really real hear it. It’s there, though, and when it surfaces, one cannot but applaud mr. Dominic Steiner for his endurance and playing.

##### Drums

8,5. Reed St. Mark is a pretty versatile drummer, who can work within all the extremes of the drumming spectrum and perform admirably well, whether playing it hard and fast, or going for stomping parts, or counter-beating it, or… well, you get the idea.

##### Lyrics

7. The only thing in this record that’s pretty “meh”. Yes, they try to be all evil and atmospheric, but, seriously, now, they’re not Celtic Frost’s strongest point. So, let’s leave it to that, OK?…

##### Cover art

10. H.R. Giger’s “Satan I”. What’s not to like about it. A TOTAL CLASSIC!

##### Logo

8. I have the record with the old logo and me likes it a-okay.

##### Booklet

-. No booklet. I got the picture disk (yes, vinyl, now eat yer hearties out, bitches…).

##### Overall and ending rant

“Το Μέγα Θηρίον” is one of the, like, totally, “classic” classic metal records of the ‘80s. Also, it’s one of the most “bizarre” records of the era, since, while it references pretty heavily the current trends in metal, it gives them such a spin and a kick in the ass that afterwards they seem completely bewildered and raving-drooling demented. I won’t repeat its importance in the formation of black and death, I’ve already made it cleary earlier, so pay attention. I just wanna close this Class6(66) entry by stating that, for all the praise that I rained upon the heads of Celtic Frost, I forgot to mention how mightily enjoyable this record is. So, even if you disregard its importance or its historic value, you HAVE to have it just for headbanging, beer-swilling exultation. Now, how rad is this?…

- Information
- Released: 1985
- Label: Noise Records
- Website: www.celticfrost.com
- Band
- Tom Gabriel “Warrior” Fisher: vocals, guitar
- Dominic Steiner: bass
- Reed St. Mark: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Innocence and wrath
- 02. The usurper
- 03. Jewel throne
- 04. Dawn of Meggido
- 05. Eternal summer
- 06. Circle of the tyrants
- 07. (Beyond the) north winds
- 08. Fainted eyes
- 09. Tears in a prophet’s dream
- 10. Necromantical screams
- 11. Return of the eve (studio jam, hidden track)