### Therion: Sitra Ahra

#### 25/10/10 || Altmer

Note by Altmer: due to an exchange of words at another forum I visit, the Therion bandleader will throughout this review be called “whatshisfuck”. I know that’s not his name. He’ll understand the reference, haha… I love your humour.

Whatshisfuck formed this band a long time ago. Back then they were good Swedes, playing dess metal and grindcoar. They were brutal. They had very non-deep lyrics about life, and basically made a lot of noise. Then someone (probably whatshisfuck) decided to change that all around and introduce an orchestra, symphonic sounds and more of those things. Also during this time, about everyone that wasn’t him left/had to leave/got fired/whatever the fuck happened so he’s had to switch his lineup around for about every album. Whatshisfuck clearly is not phased though, because he’s still going strong with Therion.

In my live review I mentioned that I thought Therion were definitely musically skilled, but extremely dull to listen to as a whole. The bad sound during the gig there did not aid matters much. On record, that doesn’t change. OK, so we have clearer sound, but that’s about the only difference. Therion play very skillful metal that lacks any form of balls. In fact, sometimes you could even hesitate to call it metal. It’s the guitar riff chug, I guess.

Or not. The guitars do have a typical metal sound, but the production leaves a bit to be desired. You see, this type of music is supposed to be bombastic as fuck – it’s only marginally so. The guitars don’t actually sound heavy. They sound quite muffled, actually – who thought that was a good idea? The thin guitars detract from the nice and evil bombastic sound the band are trying to get going, so you’re allowed to beef them up a LOT more than you’ve done here.

There are still one or two highlights on this album, such as “Din”; but for the most part, the album continues its weak, half metal slog through mediocre metaldom. The riffs are rather weak and tired and the symphonics are not fantastically amazing. The vocalist lineup assembled this time around is all right, as professional as they come, but also as boring. It doesn’t make me feel anything. This album doesn’t make me feel anything.

So what is this album all about? Braveheart metal, with a lot of skill, some nice vocal trade offs by singers that are not particularly interesting, and… not much else. No doubt they know exactly what they want to do and no doubt they are fulfilling their life’s dream. But this ball-less metal is not for me. It’s not bad, but it’s dull and I think I have given up on Therion by now. Boring.

Recommendation: Turn up the guitars and start to ROCK.

- Information
- Released: 2010
- Label: Nuclear Blast
- Website: www.megatherion.com
- Band
- Snowy Shaw: vocals
- Lori Lewis: vocals
- Thomas Vikstrom: vocals
- Whatshisfuck: guitars, keyboards
- Christian Vidal: guitars
- Nalle “Grizzly” Påhlsson: bass
- Johan Koleberg: drums
- A whole bunch of people: guest vocals

- Tracklist
- 01. Introduction/Sitra Ahra
- 02. Kings of Edom
- 03. Unguentum Sabbati
- 04. Land of Canaan
- 05. Hellequin
- 06. 2012: Return of the Feathered Serpent
- 07. Cú Chulainn
- 08. Kali Yuga Part 3: Autumn of the Aeons
- 09. The Shells Are Open
- 10. Din
- 11. Children of the Stone: After the Inquisition