### Sweizz & Joey Hopkins: Promo

#### 16/08/11 || Smalley

For my very first stub ever, when I saw a stupid band name like Sweizz & Joey Hopkins, and its description of being “black metal/ powerpop “, I just knew I had to claim it and rip it a new one. Unfortunately, that description couldn’t be very from the truth; there’s no black metal, no pop, and no power here at all, just 40-something minutes of messy, droning, almost-wannabe-shitty-techno at times, industrial noise that couldn’t express a really coherent musical idea if it wanted to (which I sincerely doubt it does). It just drones and drones and drones, with incomprehensible dialogue samples, machine sounds, and random noise, occasionally switching from one tempo of high-tech ugliness to another tempo of high-tech ugliness, and I’m the one who ended up getting a new one ripped.

Occasionally, things get quiet and it seems like they’ve turned for something not super fucking annoying, and sometimes you can hear a little bit real music lurking behind that nigh-impenetrable wall of noise, the basic shrill nature of the noises means that the end effect is still pretty random and jumbled, just a little less so. It’s just like they took a bunch of noises and blindly throwing them against a wall and keeping whatever sticks, no matter what. Supposedly, Garm from Ulver cameo’d on this, but if he contributed vocals, then I am glad this is so noisy, so I can’t tell his shitty contribution inside this steaming pile of elephant shit. Fortunately, their Myspace tell us that Zhit and Popkins is over for good, which better be fuckin’ true. Fuckin’ ugh…

1/10: This unholy spawn of industrial puke and video game muzak is the worst album I’ve ever heard, including “St. Anger”. Fuck. This. Hard.