### Yob: The great cessation

#### 16/05/11 || The Duff

Global Domination, your host, has been likened to Teufel’s Tomb in terms of subjective retardedness. In coming across a very homophobic review of Mastodon’s “Crack the Skye” over at the TT website, likening the album I think to anal sex but without the kissing if I could read much further than the author forcing his dick into my eyes, the termination of all that was wrong with an album I thought one of the best of the year came with the recommendation of Yob’s at the time new effort “The Great Cessation”; an album considered quite a big deal as it was the follow-up to two highly lauded underground doom masterpieces that would have been the band’s final outputs were it to pursue its disbanding. Thankfully for many, Mike Scheidt’s (Oh my God, are you guys loling too!? I have strawberry milk coming out of my nose!) band reformed in 2008 to bring us this latest in 2009 – doom albums don’t take much to write, it would seem, considering they take a year to perform.

Honestly, if you’re going to criticize Mastodon for being unoriginal, I would suggest you not recommend Yob as a band to follow-up on; this isn’t even an iota of a step forward by Yob’s standards (although not according to some reviews I’ve read, possibly from more seasoned fans). Also, not all black people hate white people; on the same note, I don’t need to know how you put a man’s appendage inside of yourself in order to feel like we should be closer as buddies. I literally would rather eat a pussy than listen to Yob’s “The Great Cessation” – what does that say about me? Wait, do I mean literally there? Who gives a shit, the majority of my readership is based in England LOOOOOOOOOL.

God Bless you England.

But don’t get me wrong, this is a good album; for sprawling-assed slow-shit though, I get the feeling the band’s obscurity is one of its most endearing attributes. Ahab, Evoken, Esoteric, all better than this. Then you side with more riff-based doom bands, The Mighty Nimbus (you fuckers are missed, release something new!), Crowbar, EyehateGod, all better than this. The two albums preceding not much different, not much better if only for their consistency in not having a dud cut like “Silence of Heaven” which is too slow for its own good; I appreciate diversity as much as the next guy (deep, blushing pussy, brown-around-the-edges pussy, crinkly pussy – although not much difference when I’m tearing it up, right guys?), but the trawl is long and the end overdue. So what of “The Great Cessation” as a standalone album?

Five tracks, plodding rhythms that twist and turn (a massive Sabbath influence, as to be expected); dark and impenetrable notes that envelop and I’m sure would sound sweet as cock in the mouth I MEAN PUSSY IN THE MOUTH! if I were stoned; unfortunately, I gave up weed sometime ago following psychoses and thinking myself the original Adam – those were some fun times, no doubt, and I’m sure “The Great Cessation” would embody such an experience quite comfortably were I still losing my marbles to the herb, yet somehow without the larger than holy shit my mind is spinning amidst a tumult of Devillish soundscapes fragile state of mind, I’m left but mildly entertained by overdriven guitars and riffs that are nifty but little else.

Some if not most of the subtleties are basic (pick-slides et al.), and again I’m sure would blow my mind if I were higher than the clouds, but in the end Mike Scheidt isn’t a great musician, simply a passionate one. The vocals are what Ozzy Osbourne must sound like on acid, and I can only commend the mixture of other stylings ranging from deranged shrieks to deep, Satanic bellows that rumble the bowels (but not in an anal sex kinda way… the gay way HEY, I’M AN HETEROSEXUAL EVERYBODY!!), as everything is complementary to one continuous sonic journey into the heart of insanity (Pulitzer…?).

- Information
- Released: 2009
- Label: Profound Lore Records
- Website: Yob MySpace
- Band
- Mike Scheidt: vocals, guitars
- Aaron Reiseberg: bass
- Travis Foster: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Burning the Altar
- 02. The Lie That is Sin
- 03. Silence of Heaven
- 04. Breathing From the Shallows
- 05. The Great Cessation