### Frozen Semen: Artificial insemination

#### 18/04/11 || revenant

I’ve traveled enough now to know that humor is a cultural thing, and that what passes as funny for some cultures can be completely mystifying to others. Which is why I’m raising my eyebrow at the name Frozen Semen, which is clearly a joke name (just check out their MySpace and see the dozens of images of a sperm with an icicle hanging from it), but on what level is it funny? Is it “won’t it be hilarious if one day we get famous and all these people will be wearing t-shirts emblazoned with Frozen Semen and a picture of a sperm” funny? A quick bout of research tells me these guys are from Finland, which doesn’t help. I’ve never known any Finnish people, and the only two Finnish celebrities I’ve ever seen on TV are Mika Häkkinen and Kimi Räikkönen, who not only lacked a sense of humor, but lacked any sort of personality whatsoever. I’ve dropped turds with more personality than those two zombies. So I’m at a loss, I don’t know what’s funny in Finland and on what level is Frozen Man-juice funny?

But hey, it’s not the name that matters, it’s the music. Yeah, let’s fucken talk about that. “Brainwashed” leads this four track demo giving the instant impression that Frozen Baby-Batter is an At the Gates rip-off. This Lindberg style high pitched screaming vocals and melodic leads, combined with the raw (read poor) production, almost give the impression that this could almost be a long lost demo track off “Slaughter of the Soul”. Hell, if you know someone stupid enough, it wouldn’t be too hard to actually convince them this is a long lost track. Of course it doesn’t quite have the great hooks of “Slaughter”, but it’s still a decent starter.

The first track, however, can give a false impression of the music Frozen Jizz produces. The next three tracks are raw thrash: aggressive, hardcore infused ugliness. The vocals continue on the high pitched scream theme, and are as ragged and raw as vocals come. The guitar work is sharp, riffing great but ultimately a little handicapped by the thin sound on this demo. The rhythm section, likewise, are sharp and provide the perfect backbone for this music. I have to say on one hand I’m really impressed by Frozen Spooge’s demo, but on the other hand disappointed by the poor production quality. I’d really like to hear this stuff, particularly the second track which is an absolute killer, with a much better sound.

So my closing thoughts are this: Frozen Protein-slurpee are an interesting, raw and aggressive band that may well be worth keeping an eye on. Their debut demo is not strong on the production, but potential definitely exists in this group that I would put them on the “to watch for” list.

- Information
- Released: 2010
- Label: Self-released
- Website: Frozen Semen MySpace
- Band
- Otto Trygg: vocals, guitars
- Markus Hyttinen: guitars
- Emil Eirola: bass
- Teemu Nieminen: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Brainwashed
- 02. Strength Regained
- 03. Bound to Extinct
- 04. Artificial Insemination