### Goat The Head: Neander tales

#### 22/07/08 || Kampfar

If you are a retard in for some heavy retardation, mongoloid death with feces, pay heed and read on. I quote the intro to make sure you know exactly what I’m talking about here:

Boy: “Grandfather, tell me an erotic story about metal.”

Grandfather: “Alright son, come sit on my face.”

And the perversion continues, for “Fetus stuffed with feces” tells the story of when grandpa shat on boy’s mother, this twisted way of welcoming a new born explained and elaborated on exclusively in this song’s lyrics. Oh my fuck, I shouldn’t laugh at this, negative, but there should never have been bukkake either. Minor derail aside, for I must also mention “Mother horse” and “Otter skull”, both examples of more fucked up stuff, the former dealing with horse sex, the latter – sporting one of the best samples ever, if you understand Norwegian that is – most likely the only song ever made about the dissection of an otter skull.

But, as you might think by now, I didn’t do a review on “Neander tales” because of the lyrics, almost not at all. No, I did so almost exclusively because the death at hand is very fucking nice. And what makes it fine is what I’ll tell you straight after now. The songs are very good, some even excellent, all wrapped up in far from perfect but still so production, mix, whatever. Context is a keyword here.

From reading the booklet, a rather minimalistic one, I learned that the whole shebang was recorded and partly written during a 2 day session, as if they tried to beat Darkthrone or something. Haha, very funny. Fuck you, what I’m trying to communicate here is that “Neander tales” is a vital slab of rotten meat, teeming with flies, stinking, but twitching dynamically. This dynamic I so pretentiously speak about is ensured, in great parts, thanks to a downright inspired performance by Mr. Drummer, in this case Vyl, who has now quit to concentrate fully on being muted out and have his kicks sounding like shit in Keep Of Kalessin. In that band he also blasts a shitty very much, not so on “Neander tales”. In fact, hardly at all. This is some heavy shit, you know, not fucking helium black with more make-up than actual attitude.

The vocalist sounds like a zombie version of Jan-Chris De Koeijer and “Neander tales” is an EP taking a good long piss all over Goat The Head’s only full-length, namely “Simian supremacy”. I won’t elaborate, but the mongoloid vocals entirely crash with the music on that last mention. Quite fucking shitty it is.

That is all, fuck you shitty much.

8 out of 10.

- Released: 2006
- Label: Left Horn Records
- Website: Goat The Head MySpace
- Band
- Per Spjøtvold: vocals
- Ketil Sæther: guitar
- Snorre A. Hovdal: bass
- Vegar “Vyl” Larsen: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Fetus stuffed with feces
- 02. Spreading the juice
- 03. Mother horse
- 04. Graphic health warning
- 05. Wrapped in mystery of hell
- 06. Otter skull
- 07. Family anomalies
- 08. The armeniac