### Witchbreed: Heretic rapture

#### 03/09/09 || Lord K Philipson

“What the FUCK kinda name is this for a band, and exactly how fucken retarded are the people involved for sticking to it if they have any fucken ambition whatsoever to go somewhere in the world of metal? It’s just a fucken blessing they didn’t think of the word “Witchpenis” or we’d all be mighty fucked.”

That was my first reaction when I ran into this album (I actually ran, Ben-Johnson-on-steroids style. There’s even a chance I was like 1/8 black at the time when I think about it) on some godforsaken site… erm… I mean in a store. Downloading is illegal, you know. Beware of The Law!

Anypee, for some reason I decided to check out the music and I think it was becoz there was a chick (ugly, sure, but still a chick) doing vocals. Either that or a quite fugly transsexual – fuck if I knew. But after letting my Cerwin Vega’s have a session with “Heretic rapture” – color me somewhat fucken impressed (and quite possibly a little bit naked). Witchbreed is nothing like the name would imply, thank fucken hell.

I won’t be long-striped (that is Swenglish for “långrandig”) with this review but I need to state a few things before wrapping shit up (in a plastic bag, to have something to throw at people) and calling it a day. Witchbreed play some fine metal with keyboards backing shit up in a neat way. Those keys are never taking over the sound but rest safely in the background, adding to the music instead of stealing attention from it. That is a nice. What steals the attention, though, is the quite great fucken vocals (I almost said “tits” – forgive me) by vocalissa… eh… hmm… cock’n‘balls… I have no fucken idea what her name is as I’m typing this crap – I’ll gather the information later on when it’s time to insert that shit into this review. However – she’s doing a fucken great job and sounds convincing, emotional and utterly professional without coming across as “trained”. Nope, no fucken opera shit here, a real voice is what we get. Bitches, bitches, bitches…

I think I might contact her for some guest parts on a The Project Hate MCMXCIX album down the road. Yep, that’s how much I dig her voice. Then again, she’d probably be too much of a cunt (or held back by her male “friends” in the band) to accept – so, fuck her all the same. I changed my mind, I don’t fucken need her doing guest vocals.

Lemme see here… I don’t even know where the fuck these idiots are from but they have made a fine fucken impression with me. At times Witchbreed surprise me with some cool growls to accompany the whore, and that really adds a nice feeling to the material. They aren’t exactly brutal or anything, Witchbreed concentrate more on melodies but aren’t afraid to throw in some parts that could almost be considered half-brutal. No fucken matter what – I dig this album quite a bit. It’s nice to be completely taken on the bed (more Swenglish – cool, no?) by a band you expect absolutely nothing from. Especially when they are blessed with a moniker such as “Witchbreed”. I mean, what the fuck? Do you guys even believe in witches? And now you are breeding them? Fuck are you, 6 years old?

Seriously, ditch the fucken band name, get a fucken grip and understand that what you are creating musically is too fucken good to have a moniker destroy the possibilities of people wanting to hear you. I can tell you that you were just fucken lucky with me. Usually I would have pissed on a band with “witch” in its name. Witches are fucken über-gay.

The material presented isn’t evenly strong thruout the album though so giving them an 8 would have been too kind. The best parts of “Heretic rapture” are phenomenal, but the weaker sections – not so much, obviously. Still, a great surprise.

Fuck you for making me like you, Witchbreed.

Now playing: “Witching hour” by Venom.

- Information
- Released: 2009
- Label: Ascendance Records
- Website: Witchbreed MySpace
- Band
- Ruby Roque: vocals
- Dikk: guitars
- Filipe Sousa: guitars
- João Pedro: bass
- Tiago Lopes: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Atheos (intro)
- 02. Symphony for the Fallen
- 03. Thy Eclipse
- 04. Rebel Blood
- 05. Firethrone
- 06. Medeusa
- 07. Ignis Bellum
- 08. Ruby Light of the West
- 09. Fang & Claw
- 10. Eternal Exile
- 11. Unspoken Vow
- 12. Eden’s End
- 13. Heretica (outro)