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Kamelot: Karma

11/01/10  ||  Trauma

I’m super pissed off. There is a plague upon the realm of metal and it’s been around for far too long. It’s what some call “power” metal. Where the fuck is “power” derived from? Like, in the magical sense? Twinkly-twinkly-deedly-doo, the smell of rats and green-gooey-poo, that kind of magical? Fucken hell, what the fuck is wrong with some people?

That brings me to this shit album. It’s been tossed out some years ago. Why? Completely fucken shit, that’s why. The epitome of cheese and all that is wrong with fucken power metal. My thoughts on this album will be summed up by my reworking of one of the cheesiest fucken songs on the album: “Wings of despair”.

Sometimes my pubis too thick to be shaved
down at the base of my penis
Once in a while I am pussified and gay
tired and sick of it all
I don’t believe that my anus is safe
nothing is rested on my tongue
Bound to this pole in a room full of gay
someone will pee on my face

No one can see it but you know that it’s there
gaping the flaps on my hole
Holding the splooge on the cross you will smear
die with a dildo of gold

Fly on the wings of despair
no one will cum on your back
the shot of the cum is internal
Conquer the sequins you queer
Merlin will not shave your back
your goo-daddy’s yawning, remember
no one can waif you today

The pressure is more than the dildos, I know
that doesn’t mean you are too tight
Rather than search for more holes
make it worth to go deep

No one can see it but you know that it’s there
gaping the flaps on my hole
holding the splooge on the cross you will smear
die with a dildo of gold

Fly on the wings of despair
no one will cum on your back
the shot of the cum is internal
Conquer the sequins you queer
Merlin will not shave your back
your goo-daddy’s yawning, remember
no one can waif you today

You, and you alone
is forging the path
Leave your gerbils with the past

Never believe that your anus is safe
nothing is rested on your tongue
Bound to this pole in a room full of gay
someone will pee on your face

Then repeat the same shitty chorus again and again until over. The only redeeming factor in this whole album is the guitar sound, but its so shrouded in keyboards, choirs, and poor vocals. And as far as I remembered the drums sounded really weak, and of course the bass inaudible. Seriously, I chucked this fucken CD so very far after listening to it so my memory is a tad fuzzy, but only a tad. This disc still sucks even if I’d have remembered every riff and high pitched “aaahhhhAAAHHHH!“. I thought Kamelot’d be somewhat good like Symphony X is, and boy oh boy that was a big fucken mistake. I still have the CD case for some reason, but I think I’ll chuck that as soon as I am done with this. Maybe Kamelot actually has some decent songs on an album at one point in their career. This sure wasn’t an album with any.

Fuck you Kamelot.

1.5

  • Information
  • Released: 2001
  • Label: Noise
  • Website: www.kamelot.com
  • Band
  • “Not Genghis” Khan: vocals
  • Thomas Bloodcum: guitars
  • Oliver Pokemon: keyboards
  • Glengarry Ross (AKA Glenn Barry): bass
  • Casey Grillo: drums
  • Tracklist
  • 01. Regalis aperpenis [instrumental]
  • 02. Fornever
  • 03. Wings of an onanist
  • 04. The smell
  • 05. Don’t you cry (on my penis)
  • 06. Karma (is a bitch)
  • 07. The pee I shower on you
  • 08. Temples of gold(en showers)
  • 09. Across the highlands (we prance)
  • 10. Elizabeth I: mirror mirror (why am I so ugly?)
  • 11. Elizabeth II: requiem for unoriginal songtitles
  • 12. Elizabeth III: fall from grace (and piss on my face)

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