Reviews
Hateform: Dominance
11/11/10 || MikzorTheFirst
Finland is known… well somewhat. Until the 00’s, the only country to
acknowledge its existence was Sweden, where it served as a cautionary
tale for those kids who’d be curious about the smelly cracks of society
(“mom, where do bums come from?”). To some degree, that has now changed
thanks to metal and Conan O’Brien.
Unfortunately, what got through to the Tonight Show was that the female
president looks like Conan (which is only marginally preferable to being
a man and looking like Conan) and when it comes to metal, the country
came to be known as the Switzerland of music. Cheese galore.
Yep, most Finnish representatives of the darkest brand of the musical arts, are dark only as in being dark voids for your testicles to be sucked into. HIM, Nightfish, The 69 Eyes, etc. These are bands that most of our readers would eagerly tuck inside a nuclear time bomb-satellite and send off into another solar system, if such chance would befall them.
On a related note, I met Jussi 69 at a club in Stockholm where he was DJ:ing a week ago. As expected, he was a total dick. I told him I wanted to punch him in the throat. Apparently he gets that a lot, considering he seems to feel the need to wear a protective scarf in a 25+ Celsius club-atmosphere.

“No. No, I don’t even care if you do it on a dick or not! Just choke on something! Okay?”
The point that I’m actively failing to arrive at, is that these bands form a facade. The magical unicorn metal, that gets pushed to the forefront, obscures countless outlets that are heaps more relevant to people who don’t base personalities on whether or not they belong to “team-Edward”.
Allow me to introduce exhibit A, Hateform.
The music these guys make is magical. Not magical as in a unicorn being magical. Not even magical as in a unicorn being shredded to pulp and fine strings of flesh by a Nazgûl for being too power metal. Magical as in a unicorn being devoured by a Nazgûl who in turn is stomped over for being too black metal by the massive balls these guys carry around. Magical as in having fuck all to do with anything fantastical, instead being every kind of fantastic. These guys are in it for everything their cannonballs of testosterone represent. Death. Metal.
If you want to modify that bit for your dating-site-profile, you’re welcome to do so (you can thank me later)! I once tried one of those sites. I eventually got a date with a lovely looking young lady who was without a seconds doubt in actuality a balding fat guy with wash-proof pizza stains both on and underneath his shirt. The fact that she was indeed a lovely looking young lady became awkward reality once I was done with my inspection, which included tackling her down, trying to rip off presumed wig and crudely fingering her neck area in look of an Adam’s apple. The whole ordeal got me quite excited though, so as far as my underwear were concerned, I got my happy ending. Tazerrific!
This far, my work on this site has led me to praising a symphonic metal-band, recommending new Soilwork and mocking honest, down-to-earth death metal. Obviously my cred is suffering. I’ll try to redeem that now. Also, this far I’ve completely failed to clearly illustrate what this band does. That’s the point. Just trust me. This is what I’ll quickly tune to whenever I get caught during those less-than-metal moments (rocking out to A-Ha’s ”Take on me”). This is really excellent death metal that is moderately brutal, moderately technical and moderately melodic. Moderate, but catchy, well written music that is well performed. Look, forget all the bullshit above and simply listen to what is one of my very favorite death metal-albums of the past fuck you years. Good day!

- Information
- Released: 2008
- Label: 7:45 Records
- Website: www.hateform.net
- Band
- Petri Nyström: vocals
- Tomy Laisto: guitars
- Tom Gardiner: guitars
- Joni Suodenjärvi: bass
- Tuomo Latvala: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Dominion
- 02. As god as
- 03. Until we drown
- 04. Bled
- 05. Sky cries blood
- 06. Chains
- 07. Square zero
- 08. I won’t kneel
- 09. Less than a man
- 10. Tongues spitting deception
