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# Global Domination

### Recent updates

- S(crap)s: I Miss My Death / Kaoskult / Raus & Perunwit (split) / Spatial / Thy Flesh (13/06/14)
- Hatebreed: The rise of brutality (12/06/14)
- Vomiting Corpses: Coma - The spheres of innocence (11/06/14)
- Mayhem: Esoteric warfare (10/06/14)
- S(crap)s: Akrotheism / Black Altar / Druknroll / Enthroned / Funeral Sutra (09/06/14)
- Agalloch: The serpent & the sphere (08/06/14)
- Dark Tranquillity: Construct (07/06/14)
- In Flames: The jester race (06/06/14)
- S(crap)s: Souldrainer / Tonic Breed / Rude / Defying / Electric Hellride / Scorned Disciple (05/06/14)
- Culted: Oblique to all paths (04/06/14)
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## Witnessed

### Wacken Open Ass 2006

#### 09/08/06 || Global Domination

Disclaimer: We will have a few pictures in here, in no exact order, which means they won’t necessarily go with the actual writing. These shots won’t even be very good ones of bands playing or anything. We don’t like that shit. We think it’s better to have pictures of ourselves, some ugly people and some shots of bands from a few miles away while they are playing. This makes little sense and that’s how we like it. Coz making sense would mean we would be the opposite of anything the Wacken organization is standing for, and we don’t want that. We want to be scum, just like them.

Updated: Thanx to a server crash in 2009, all pictures were lost and we don’t feel like uploading them again – so you’ll have to do without.

By Lord K Philipson and ex-staffer Ripper Bendix:

Wednesday:

Ripper: My beloved lady and I arrived at Wacken at around 3 and waited in cue to be fucken let in for fucken three hours. But it’s okay since Wacken is the best fucken festival in the world and I needed some time to unwind before the big tasks ahead. Oh so mighty mighty tasks laid ahead of ze Lord and myself because we were actually going to see each and every fucken band on this fucken festival to provide you with the best reviews possible. We aren’t called Global Domination for nothing, ya know fuckos? We can pull shit you wouldn’t fucken believe even possible for a mere human being. But are we human beings? Of course not! Are the Wacken big-shirts actually a bunch of money-grabbing maniacs without any fucken clue about organization? Very fucken definitely, but I never said that because of decorum and the fact that Wacken is true and cult and the best fucken thing since sliced bread and shit.

Where was I?

Ah yes, I was going to tell you little human stinkmonkeys that I’m going to break this shit down into healthy portions divided by bands and miscellaneous shit so you won’t get lost while reading this. I MIGHT get lost writing this, but that’s not your fucken problem so get off my fucken back already, asshole.

Lord K: Let’s start off slow and easy here… WACKEN CAN GO SUCK MY MUTHAFUCKEN HAIRY ARSE!!! I’m completely serious and in a while you will know a few of the reasons. I arrive at Wednesday night with my gal and 3 of my friends in our car. We get to the entrance after sitting in a fucken car-queue (is that a word?) for over 2 hours to get to the camping-entrance. That’s a good start right there. When we get there this nazi-cocksucking-faggot-fucken-asshole guard (his number was 92, he didn’t have the guts to tell me his real name, fucken pussy-assed fuckbucket) denies me and Mrs. K entrance to the camping-ground since we had no tickets. Now, why didn’t we have tickets? Becoz we were on the fucken guestlist! This guard 92 bitch refused to let us in and there was no talking to him. I tried to explain to him that it’s very, very, very fucken hard to get the VIP-passes as the place for that obviously doesn’t open until Thursday morning (can’t find anything in the FAQ-section at their site about if you arrive earlier you’ll have to pay a ticket. It was never like that in the past, but this year they would obviously sell their mothers to get more cash. It’s probably in fine print somewhere. If not, they have probably added it by now to have their backs safe). Mr. Einsten Guard 92 didn’t quite understand this which is understandable as it’s hard to understand anything if your brain is made out of cotton. He then threatens to call the Head of Security as we were “causing trouble”, most likely this was his easiest way out as he hardly couldn’t speak English. Good work, Wacken. Next time, put guards from Mars there, they will do a better work with the language-barriers. Eventually, the bitch calls someone and some fag-friend of Einstein shows up, as awesome with the English language as his cock-smoking ass-brother. At least he knew a few phrases, such as: “You pay. Or go out. Ugh! Ugh! Guard hungry. Must eat. Am gay. Likes cock. Ugh!”

I seriously want you all dead. I hope you get penis-cancer and die. All of you. I also hope you get herpes. I hope you all die from herpes. You are scum. Fuck you. Fuck you until you bleed to death. Over and over again.

As our friends needed to go in to the camping area and the fag-guards wouldn’t let us even take our stuff out of the car to stay outside until the VIP-booth opened, we had to pay 50 Euros each for two 1-day tickets. So, 50 Euros for each ticket that says 44 Euros ON THEM?! That’s just dandy. Thank you, fucken cocksucking asswipe. Oh, while yer at it, why don’t you charge us for those awesome metal-bags you handed out to almost everyone while going into the area? Let’s say 15 Euros per bag? I’m down with that. Oh, so we have to pay 15 Euros each and NOT get the fucken bags? That’s killer too. Thanx very loads, you guys are true pro’s in the con-business. If I haven’t mentioned that I’d like to see you fucken dead over and over, here goes: I WANT YOU FUCKEN DEAD! Now, here comes Ripper again…

Part one: Camping Shit

Ripper: Had to pay 30 Euros for me and my gal to be let in. That was cool. Actually we were paying ten Euros per head for a “full metal bag” full of very useless fucken shit – except for the comfy cushions which were indeed pretty fucken handy. The extra 5 Euros were for ze trash and were actually supposed to be handed back to you after the festival. Thankfully the Wacken guys were so smart to put the trash return booth so far away from any camping area that many people just said fuck it and never picked up their fucken return money. Damn good idea if you ask me. Go Wacken! I also wonder if that penlight that was in every bag fits into people’s anuses.

Money grabbing jävla factor: 10 out of 10 points.

Finally met up with my sweetie K around half past midnight in front of a couple of shitters, under the bright shining light of a big huge fucken phallus thingie which worked REALLY fucken well as a description for the location of K’s fucken tent. Trust me! It worked like a fucken charm with peanut butter finding my Swedish crony – I tells ya! NO problem at all. After we found each other he almost broke my neck and ribcage, Arkantera’s too. We like it that way, but you can’t fucken take it.

Bromance factor: Through the fucken roof – 666 points.

After that we met up with his friends (great fucken people, I’d lick maple syrup off them at any given time) and partied till 4 am.

Beer factor: 10 out of 10 points.
9 reviews: 0 points.

Lord K: Yeah, so now you know how we managed to meet up with Ripper and gal. It was nice being at the camping-shit finally and it felt great to have paid tons of cash to Guard Einstein for no good reason. We fucked it all and made sure to get drunk instead and then we called it a night. Or morning. Fuck if I knew what’s more appropriate.

Guard fucken factor: Impossible to score that low. We need a new measuring-system for this.
Bromance factor: Cock’n‘balls all night long.
Beer factor: 9 out of 10.

Over to Ripper.

Thursday: Part deux: More fucken camping shit

Let’s get the reviews going, shall we? Since the Schenker wankfest with the Scorpions, Faster Inferno, Victory, MSG, the Scorpions and the Scorpions wouldn’t start til 18:00 and since the Scorpions had played an extra gig in my tent anyway that day, K and I kinda let it go off slowly but nicely. After an extra big helping of Vodka och Vodka Avec Orange juice and a dash of “geting” (Swedish word for “wasp”) K and the gang really got shit going. Actually we were asked to play on Friday by the promoters because Opeth couldn’t come and they needed some pretty dudes to fill the spot. And hey, since K and I definitely were the most handsome people on the festival there was no way anybody else could do the job. We played six concerts on Thursday wearing different gorilla costumes and ventilator hats to warm up for Friday and we of course fucken ruled. I give us 20 points and you can’t do anything about it. Fuck off.

Friday wasn’t that good though. We played the gig alright, but K’s guitar was out of tune and I got tired really fast from running back and forth between the bassguitar and the drums. Thank Satan Opeth songs are usually painfully slow. Were a bit slower that day though. Don’t believe me that we performed? Just ask K, he has the artist wristband thingie to back up the story. And the Wacken organizers of course wouldn’t just hand out artist wristbands for fucken fun, right? Right!

Delusional made-up bullshit factor: 8 out of 10 geting-infested cocktails.

Band shit:

Faster Inferno: Fucken awesome band from the land of awesome: Awesomeland. Got laid during their set and that felt kinda nice even though I almost got arrested. What does “age of consent” mean in German again? 8 out of 10 Belgians.

Victory: They played the whole set backwards, which was a great thing to do indeed! 10 out of 10.

MSG: They annoyed me a bit because they kept kicking inflatable sheep across the stage, but their cover of Mayhem’s “Freezing Moon” sure destroyed all that night. 7 out of 10.

The Scorpions: The kings of true metal entered the stage about three hours late in account of that extra gig in our tent I think I mentioned earlier. They were pretty damn drunk by now but managed to pull off all of their classics surprisingly well. I missed “Painkiller” in the set though. That was disappointing. Also Sub-Zero was nowhere to be found. Boo! 9 out of 10 drunk David Hasselhoff’s.

Lord K: While I was playing some gigs I also walked the 5 km’s to the VIP-booth to get the passes from the Emperor and Atheist guestlists. Emperor’s worked all fine but Atheist’s… Oh, man… Now this is a fucken story. During the last month I have been in contact with Atheist’s Kelly Shaefer who I met 15 years ago. He’s a stand-up guy and all, or at least it seemed like it. He told me the guestlist would be no problem whatsoever but I had a bad feeling about it and made sure to let him know that I really wanted a confirmation from him when it all was sorted. I got that after a while. “The guestlist is fixed for you”. Yeah fucken right… For what year is it fixed coz it’s sure as fuck is not for 2006…

Numerous text-messages later to Kelly without hearing something back made us decide it was time to go back to the tents and just fuck it. Sigh, just shoot me… I don’t have the strength to go thru all the shit that happened after this, let’s just say I caused some havoc and people remember me down there now. Kelly did send a “sorry” message some day after this but hey… it didn’t actually get us the promised pass. What I need to do now is the following: I need to thank Dan Swanö, Mike of Opeth and Tony of Emperor for pulling strings for me, fixing everything and getting us the final pass on Friday. You guys so fucken rule it’s not even sane. I owe you guys big-time.

Anyways, getting back to the camping area from the non-successful getting of passes proved to be a task of enormous proportions. They wouldn’t let Mrs K in as she didn’t have her metal-bag/trash ticket shit. Remember we never got them in the first place even though we paid for it? Again, a huge thanx to Guard Einsten and his nazi-friends. We did have the forced-to-be-purchased tickets still unused and sure as fuck weren’t going to use those as the organization will get those back from us. Now is the time when we meet the 2 heroes of this organization. A guy and a girl in a ticket-booth at the entrance to camping area M. They really helped us out and made sure we got in without using the tickets after us explaining the hassle to them. Completely awesome people and we salute those 2 and those 2 only. The rest of the organization deserves cock’n‘ball torture.

Back at the tent and after the usual 500 beers I didn’t care about watching one single band this Thursday. Good thing Ripper saw them all by himself. Quite a fucken task. That’s a devoted staffer, fuckers.

VIP-list factor: 1 out of 2. Hey, 50 percent ain’t that fucken bad.
Friends helping out factor: 10000 out of 10.
Gal and guy in ticket booth factor: 10 out of fucken 10.

Back to Ripper again.

Friday:

Part three: Camping shit galore

Got up around ten and tried to phone the roomservice who TOTALLY failed to show up. Remind me to write an angry letter to the management some time soon, okay? Thanks. Because of some bizarre incidents involving undead Nazis, UFO’s and the CIA there was no WET-stage this year. What a fucken pity. So we just shoved some fucken tents together, painted “wet stage” on the tarp and charged everybody who wanted to go in ten extra Euros. Remind me to get that idea patented. Charging extra money for stuff. Maybe charge money from the bands for taking a shit backstage? Or maybe demand ludicrous amounts of money for beer? Or charge 50 Euros from people who are actually on the guestlist or something? Oh, stop the press – looks like somebody already had that idea… Guess who? Anyway, after that we bought some crack and snorted chewing tobacco out of our girlfriends’ belly buttons. That was cool!

Drug factor: 7 out of 10.

Band shit:

Mystic Circle: Not-quite-kings of German Black Metal who still can’t quite shake off the cheesiness of their earlier days because people like me keep on mentioning it. I feel bad for that so I give myself a 2.

Legion of The Damned: Kinda same-ish repetitive blasting thrash metal that rules on CD as much as it did on stage in Wacken. Was fucken loud, though. 8 for the gig, 4 for my ears.

Six Feet Under: A fucking yawnfest – which was kinda hard to explain to the thousands of people who were going absolutely crazy in front of the stage. Probably somebody had dropped his glasses and people were jumping up and down on it just to fuck with him a bit. 10 fucken points because it’s not good to wear glasses to a Wacken gig and being an ass is a lot of fun sometimes.

Lord K: Watched Six Feet Under and just had to bail on them after a while. Chris Barnes looks like shit, prolly smells like shit and the band’s music is utter shit. I always hated them and the fact that the sound on Wacken’s 2 bigger stages was crap (as almost always) didn’t exactly make SFU a revolutionizing experience. Lots of people there, all of them probably stone deaf. I give SFU 2 out of fucken 10. My friends gave them a 10.

Opeth: There’s no way in hell I’ll ever say something bad about that band again. From now on I love them. Besides that, Martin Axe is sexy. 10 pointy Witchery stakes out of 10.

Lord K: I should give Opeth a hundred points for helping me out, getting me an artist-pass and all, but I have to be honest here. We watched a couple of the songs and after seeing a 10 minute clean singing/acoustic passage I was literally bored to tears. They didn’t seem into it and usually Opeth rips. I just don’t believe that their softer material is cut for playing live. People looked like they were falling asleep during their set and I can understand it. Opeth should concentrate on the harder material when it comes to live situations coz that’s what people wanna hear. The sound wasn’t all that bad but as always when it comes to the bigger stages it’s way too low. When you hear the smaller Party-stage through Opeth’s gig you know something is fucked up. I give Opeth a 5 out of 10 but Mike gets a 500 out of 10 for helping me out with the pass. You are a fucken hero. Back to Ripper.

Carnivore: I was offended by that band because I am trying to become a vegetarian. Beer is a vegetable, right? 4 bloody steaks out of 10.

Celtic Frost: Ruled the fucken shit. Especially “Into the crypt of gays”. Tom Warrior accidentally sang into his guitarist’s penis at one point but no one noticed because it sounded totally awesome. The hat! That god damn winter hat! 8 out of 10 penises.

Amon Am Arsch: That band was so good that I popped a longboat into my pants, K’s too! Hegg still needs to let his beard grow longer, but his voice is so beautiful it puts Sarah Brightman to shame nine times out of ten. 9 used pairs of underpants.

Lord K: I heard Amon Amarth. From my tent. They sounded good at 2:30 in the morning. 8 out of 10. Ripper?

Wintersun: Rocked the fucken shit. 6 out of 10.

Danko Jones: That man was a pure fucken riot. He even stole that fucken military helicopter’s show and definitely knows how to deal with a metal crowd even though he is 110% rock’n roll. Nice eyepatch, too! 10 out of 10 rock hallelujahs.

Lord K: I actually saw most of the Danko-gig. And the reason for it was that Mrs K really wanted to see it. Danko was good and seriously had some awesome in-between-songs speeches with the crowd. I was never a fan of his music and I’m still not after this gig, but it was enjoyable though I have no idea why the fuck he was playing Wacken for. 7 out of 10. 9 out of 10 for the attitude. Ripper’s up again…

Nevermore: Shit a fucken rock. 10 out of 6.

In Extremo: Same old same old – but with megacool stageprops! 8 out of 10.

Lord K: Pirateships, fireworks and, bo9mbs and more fire. In Extremo had a show. And a fucken faggy-looking singer. I think all of this is definitely needed coz the actual music is terrible. 2 out of 10. Back to Ripper.

Children Of Bodom: People went crazy and I stood there not knowing WTF. 4 for me.

Lord K: Watched some of Children on the big screen between the stages before going back to the tent. Talented guys but completely uninteresting music. 5 out of 10. Rippah?

Ministry: They don’t seem to like the American government. But I could be mistaken. 9 out of 10 just for the drummer’s fucken hat.

End Of Green: I must confess that I missed that band because I had to help some farmer from the tent next door to plant some fucken potatoes.

Born From Pain: I missed this one because my neighbor also wanted to plant some fucken carrots. Carrots rule.

Ektomorf: Was just back in time for the last song in account of planting some onions. 5 out of 10.

Lord K: I didn’t know Sepultura played. But I did know they completely sucked. 3/10. Back to Ripper again.

Soilwork: A kinda disappointing gig, so I heard. Maybe K can tell you more about this because I really have to open a beer now and need both hands for that.

Lord K: One of the gigs I was actually looking forward to the most. And what a letdown it was. The bassist was walking around on stage doing faggy dances. Standing on his monitor doing faggy dances and in general giving the gig a joke-atmosphere. After listening to 6 or 7 songs without them getting into “Distance” I decided they could go fuck themselves and take the bassist’s shit-dances with them. 3 out of 10. Here’s Ripper, yet again.

Korpiklaani Even though I rode my unicorn of true metal as fast as I could and gave it the spurs til it bled I still couldn’t manage to escape my tent in account of being definitely very much asleep.

Despairs Ray: That band didn’t come. Instead they had four cardboard cut-outs on stage with an I-Pod playing the Finnish national anthem backwards. 10 out of 10.

Primal Fear: Metal is forever and every single is better. That sums up pretty much all of their repertoire. 3 out of 10 sweaty true metal dudes.

Saturday:

Part Vier: Camp Shit och va®gina

The day started off great with us sleeping really long and visiting a few bands as astral projections. Not many review writers can pull THAT one off, ya know? So we were really refreshed to start the day and shit. Drank some Vodka och orange juice at K’s place but I pussied out way too fucken fast, like a total pussie’s pussy. I’ll give myself minus 88 points for that, I guess. K also got attacked by a neo-nazi melon. He was able to defend himself with our trusty kitchen knife though and the fucken melon was chutney in fucken no time at all.

After that we posed, made zombie-sounds and shambled off to the stage-area. Forum member Somliga was there, too. But because of window-cleaner induced blindness I totally failed to notice him. I give my eyes a minus 5 for that. Our new American friend saved K’s fucken tent from blowing the fuck away. He deserves a 10 and some more beer for that. He even deserves some more glorious stuff for seriously counting his fingers to find out if he can spare one after K asked if he could have one. I give K 1 finger because he actually said “please” – and also because he’s from Oslo, Sweden.

Lord K: The usual festival bullshit before going to the stages to be a rockstar again. Drinks, drinks and more drinks. Ripper was a complete wuzz this morning when it came to drinking, even his girl outdid him by far, and that’s not good. He did pick up though, after a while. Me and Mrs K had bought some Vodka and stuff so that was a great morning. Back to my German crony.

Band Shit defuckenluxe:

Aborted: They kinda ended early. Got it? Hahahaha! 9 out of 10 crunchy fetuses.

Arch Enemy: Sharlee gets a big honking 69 for being such a damn sexy mofo. Look at him go!

Lord K: While driving down to Wacken I think I heard “All for one” (or whatever it’s called) in the car like a few hundred times. I even got to hear it live. Arch Enemy was good, the sound was ok and Angela sounded real good. Arch Penis is a good live-act and they seemed to enjoy themselves on one of the big stages. The gig gets an 8. I give Angela’s tits a 5 even though I didn’t see them. I give her voice an 8. Michael’s hair gets a 1 and Sharlee’s presence is an 8. Lots of 8’s here and definitely one of the better gigs at this festival. Ze Ripper’s turn again.

Morbid Angel: They are still pretty cool for being an average of 60 years old, and the latex shirt kinda threw me off. 7 out of 10 tight-fitting gimp shirts.

Lord K: I had looked forward to this gig quite a bit since my crony Jörgen Sandström was stark raving mad (in a good way) about their performance in Stockholm some time ago. I can’t say I’m all that impressed. Probably becoz they played in broad sunlight. And probably becoz the sound was low and pretty much shit, as always with the bigger stages. They shat out some classic hits but I couldn’t fucken feel any vibe whatsoever. I had a better time watching the fucken piss-ugly people walking by all the time, dressed up like idiots in all kinds of gear. Morbid gets a 5. The ugly fuckers get a 1. Ripper’s up again…

Soulfly: Their singer seems to be some sort of celebrity I have heard. 7 out of 10 token Brazilian drums nobody cares about anyway.

Lord K: Watched most of their performance backstage on a big screen TV. Max looks like he just fucked Chris Barnes, loved it and got a terrible disease from it. I didn’t hear a single sound as the volume was off backstage but they looked like shit and I expect them to be shit since it’s, you know, Soulfly. Can’t rate them but for looks only, they get a 1. Ripper?

Emperor: Stylish as fuck. I give Ihsahn’s pants alone full 10 points.

Lord K: I was never much of a fan of Emperor but I am a fan of Secthdaemon so they get a full fucken 10. Back to Ripper, who managed to see fucken everything.

Finntroll: Humppa overload. 5 out of 10.

Caliban: Little known fact: Caliban backwards is Nabilac. Caliban played at zero volume is also very good. 4 out of 10 glasses of Absinth too many right now.

Lord K: Not even their backdrop looked good. And the music shouldn’t be spoken about. Nor rated. Back to Ripper.

Fear Factory: Dino lost one fucken helluva lot of weight! Oh,it wasn’t Dino? Instant 10 fucken points. 10 more for having fucken Byron. He’s cute.

Lord K: I had a feeling Burton wouldn’t be wearing the GAI-shirt he got a few years ago so I didn’t bother to go watch them. And back to Ripper again.

Gamma Ray: Can’t remember if Kai Hansen was actually there or not. He was probably off somewhere to eat a lot of food. 6 out of 10.

Whitesnake: Believe it or not, this is a Deep Purple coverband I think. Deep Purple are good. I give DP a 6 out of 10. DVDA get 4 more.

Motörhead: Same old same old same old same old. What people don’t know is that Lemmy actually died ten minutes before entering the stage. But nevertheless he gave what was probably his best fucken performance to date. R.I.P. out of 10

Subway To Sally: Can’t tell how good they were because I just stood there with my fingers in my ears screaming obscenities as loud as I could. 5 bad hairdo’s out of 10

Lord K: I heard a song in the car on the way down, that was enough to make the easy decision not to go anywhere near anything Subway to Sally. Rip?

Metal Church: Because of my three mile hike from the fucken camp I arrived as the roadies hauled MC’s shit off stage. I give that one muscular roadie a 10 for his massive biceps.

Bloodthorn: Diese band gibt es gar nicht. 10 out of 10.

Lord K: Bloodthorn had one of the worst sounds on the whole festival. The vocals were so loud it should have been a criminal act having Bloodthorn play. Complete and utter shit. 1 out of 10. Or actually, ZERO out of 10. Ripper caught some more bands while I was signing autographs:

Orphaned Land: Stupid, a land has no daddy! So it technically can NOT be an orphan. Actually I was so drunk that night that I didn’t care, so this band gets an 8 because it won’t hurt anyone.

Atheist: I love that fucken band. The singer looks like a slim version of Karl Willetts, he sings higher though. 9 out of 10.

Lord K: The gig I wanted to see the most. After a few minutes I felt this wasn’t what I hoped for… Kelly was walking around stage like some Ozzy-wannabee and the performance seemed uninspired to me. Maybe the hassle with Kelly not sorting the guestlist as promised played a part but I just couldn’t get into it all that much. The sound was decent but the overall impression was kinda weak. I expected a hella lot more. Especially after getting Kelly the fanzine I interviewed him for in the 90’s and handing over the photos I took when we met 15 years ago. I even expected some song to be dedicated to me since I rule and since we had been thru all kinds of shit thanx to their non-existing guestlist. But no. All I got was one uninspired gig and some awesome bassplaying by Tony Choy, which was nice. That guy is insane. It was nice meeting the guys backstage on Friday and I appreciate the apology from Kelly though I wouldn’t have mind if he actually sorted the hassle instead of being backstage drinking beer. Atheist was a letdown. 5 out of 10. 10 out of 10 for Tony’s bassplaying. Back to Ripper. You remember him.

Die Apokalyptischen Reiter: After they started the set with “Dschingis Kahn” I decided to not fucken bother anymore and just give them a 6 so they stopped playing. And they fucken did. Yay me.

Rose Tattoo: Those people made Lemmy look like he was 9 years old. 7 out of 10 dentures.

Part five: Ze last evening

After seeing all of the bands on this festival at least twice, my lady and I hung out with the two K’s and their friends for the rest of the evening and had a fantastic time. That’s definitely more than you had while reading this shit here so I’m giving ourselves a 10 and you a 4 for your patience.

Ze Bottom Line:

Awesome festival, the beeeeest organization ever. I heard NO fucken complaints from people about, you know, being fucked out of their money or something. It all worked great and shit. It’s not like we had more fun at the camping site than with the actual festival or something, no no. And it’s also not like there were too many people, or money falling out of your pants as soon as you set foot on the ground. Nah, no way! What are you thinking eh? What’s left to say is that this was definitely my last fucken Wacken because I need my money for cheaper stuff… Like a serious addiction to cocaine, or having my Rolls Royce repainted every second day.

Lord K: When even the people working at Wacken admits that it’s all chaos, it’s too many people, no one knows anything and the complaints are endless from the visitors, you know something is fucken wrong. Wacken has turned into all money. The atmosphere from a few years back is completely gone. I have written the organization a mail, explaining everything and that we want the money, rightfully, back for the 2 unused tickets. They haven’t replied, as expected. The sad thing is that they will continue with this festival in the same manner as this year. I am definitely not going back unless I get a fucken apology and every fucken cent back that they wrongly charged from us. Wacken can go fuck itself. The organization is a fucken joke and I hope world war 3 starts soon and concentrates on the organization’s houses only. I hate you. I so fucken hate you. BOYCOTT WACKEN, RAIN OR SHINE! I’ll let Ripper wrap this up:

Overall score:

Camping Site Fun: 10 out of 10.
Camping site if Lord K and his friends hadn’t been there: Minus 5 out of 10.

Bands with K: 10 out of 10.
Bands with no K: Who cares?

Overall Festival with K: 10 out of 10.
Overall Festival without K: minus 666 out of 10

A gift from all of us to all of you at the Wacken-organization: Fuck you very much.

You sure as fuck deserve it.

Witnessed

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