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# Global Domination

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## Reviews

### Sparzanza: Folie à cinq

#### 10/02/11 || cadenz

“WEEE AAAREE SPAAARR…zanza.” I hope they don’t use that as a welcome phrase on gigs. Mainly ‘cause they lack the balls the steroid-pumped macho Greeks sported in one of the worst movies during the last decade. Or maybe the Swedes actually believe they do, that being their folie à cinq – a delusion shared by five different persons. I seriously hope that’s the case – otherwise they’d be complete morons. Right? Right.

“Fac” is the fifth full-length of the 15-year-old constellation, and they’ve been garnering some attention during the last couple of years, mainly behind the mainstream parapet of the rock/metal scene. Riding the same wave as such bands as Dead by April, Takida, Sonic Syndicate or even Volbeat, they’ve made their presence known. Too bad they also fall in the same category, quality-wise. This is boring pop disguised as metal/hard rock by down-tuned guitars and basses and some jagged, rhythmic riffs in the style of you-name-it-core. You will not fool me, Spart…eh. Sparzazzzergh. Sprazzezzeznazlenz… Penises.

From the bottom of my heart – trying to sink to your emo level here, guys – you suck. You bring us monotone choruses with stupid cliché lyrics. You give us songs with pop structures, all aiming for the three-minute mark. You give us testicle-less vocals that have nothing to do with the ultra-low foundation laid by the stringed instruments. The vocals, I’d say, are some kind of mix between the voices of the fuckers fronting Takida and Volbeat. Suck + suck = double suck, right? No, actually this Weileby dude sucks less than his more famous colleagues (whose names I couldn’t remember if my life so depended on it) – but that doesn’t mean much, does it? No. No it doesn’t.

Once in a while a groovy and heavy riff unleashes itself from the mire of mud that is this record, but mostly we’re just treated to tired and half-hearted semi-pounding. If you’re looking for another radio rock album to boost your record shelf, now filled with empty energy drink and tan lotion cans, this might be one for you. Stay away from tracks seven and eleven (pun not intended) though, as those actually sounded like they had potential.

All in all this isn’t as fucken horrible as the bands I name-dropped a few paragraphs ago, but there’s no reason whatsoever to listen to this, as you could be doing something more enjoyable like, say, slitting your wrists. See, I’m starting to get the hang of this gloomy emo thing! Whopee, oh happy day! Ah, damn.

- Information
- Released: 2011
- Label: Spinefarm
- Website: www.sparzanza.com
- Band
- Fredrik Weileby: vocals
- Magnus Eronen: guitars
- Calle Johannesson: guitars
- Johan Carlsson: bass
- Anders Åberg: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Temple of the Red-eyed Pigs
- 02. Alone with a Loaded Gun
- 03. Mr Fish
- 04. Follow Me
- 05. Crone of Bell
- 06. Phoenix Down
- 07. Night of the Demons
- 08. Eyes Wide Shut
- 09. Hell Is Mine
- 10. Devil’s Rain
- 11. The Reckoning

Reviews

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